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Boro v Hull City 1-0


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Hello fellow Boro adventurers and welcome to this special Match day thread anticipating and celebrating the spectacle that is: Middlesbrough v Hull.

 

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The premise, if you've never read the books when you were little (did you not have a library card?!), is simple. I will spin a wonderous narrative with many different paths down which you can wander. You must pick between the two or more options at each point by clicking the link you prefer. But beware! some of the paths lead to misery and heartbreak. What adventure will you go on with the mighty Boro today?! 

 

Let us know how you get on!

 

Important Note: after clicking a link, dont scroll! Please give your browser a few seconds to finish loading after clicking to take you to the correct post.

 

Also note: No cheating by reading Ahead! 

 

 

Begin here: 

 

It is a cold blustery evening on Monday 5th December 2016. Leo Percovich has just finished his day shift at Skelton Coaches (He had taken the delightful children of Acklam Grange school on a trip to Fountains Abbey that day, they had had an absolute blast...) when he suddenly remembered "Oh crikey, we've got a match tonight against Hull haven't we?!" To no-one in particular. "I'd better go pick the lads up." and so he did. with as much gusto as his bright orange 2001 Volvo B12M Jonckheere Mistral 50 (51 seats, flushing toilet, tea and coffee making facilities and on board entertainment system) could muster, he picked each of the Middlesbrough team up from their houses in turn. He then went to pick up the Gaffer, Aitor Karanka from his end terrace in Billingham. "Alright gaffer" He said as the Spaniard boarded and took his place on the backwards-facing seat at the front so he could keep an eye on the squad. Aitor respoded to the greeting with some broken English which no-one really understood. "Haha, good one boss" Leo replied, hoping that Aitor hadn't asked him a question. As Leo wrestled the coach into first gear and set off, Aitor realised he hadn't been for a slash before he came out. It was time to use the on-board toilet! as he made his way to the rear of the coach, past David Nugent who was reading a book and Jordan Rhodes who was sobbing quietly into a pillow, Aitor tripped over an unseen obstacle in the gangway and fell to the floor. Aitor got up, rounded quickly and scolded Marten De Roon: "Oy, you silly Dutch t***, what have I told you about leaving your leg out!" Marten recoiled his leg in fright and put his hands up as if to say *I didn't do anything, even though you literally just saw me do it...*

 

After returning from the toilet and securely fastening his seabelt, Aitor was met with a puzzled look from Leo. "where are we playing again boss, I don't have clue where I'm headed?"

 

What does Aitor reply?

 

"We're at home you silly bugger, the Riverside Stadium" 

 

"We're at Hull today Perky, better step on it"

 

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Ahhh, agony and heartbreak for the Boro as a last minute equaliser goes in again! The Hull fans go wild and the Boro faithful are left with a feeling of deja vu. gutted.

 

Boro draw the game 1-1. They survive relegation at the end of the season by two points. 

 

 

THE END

 

 

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"We're at home you silly bugger, the Riverside Stadium"

 

"Oh aye I remember now boss." Leo said as he cranked the coach into fourth and turned onto the A66. The coach made the short journey to the Riverside Stadium, where the game would be held. The sight of Hull fans traveling in the same direction was a reassuring sight for Leo that they were heading in the right direction. As the coach pulls into the riverside stadium car park, Aitor steps off and says "thanks coach", Leo replies "Who do you mean, me or the bus?" "hahahahaha" they laugh.

 

The players start disembarking and greeting the fan's who are standing in the rain, waiting for a chance to meet their heroes. As Alvaro Negredo heads off into the riverside after signing autographs, a stray brick falls from the Riverside stadium and hits him with an almighty thud, Leo, almost instinctively shouts "On your head son! Wheeeey." Alvaro collapses in a heap on the floor. Aitor and Leo pick Alvaro up by his hands and feet and take him inside. Aitor asked the medical staff to assess Alvaro and report back. The medical chief comes back to Aitor a few minutes later and says "It's clear that Alvaro is concussed boss, I asked him who the finest team in football, the world has ever seen was, and he said Burnley..." 

 

Aitor has a difficult decision to make regarding his strikeforce now. Hes already decided on a 4-2-3-1 formation, so who does he put in the lone role up front?

 

David Nugent 

 

Jordan Rhodes 

 

Stick with Negredo. See if he can play off the concussion

 

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"Play defensively lads, sit on the lead. A 1-0 win gets you as many points as a 3-0 win." Aitor passes the message out to his players mid way through the first half.

 

Boro play a solid defensive formation and effectively break down any Hull attacks before they become any real danger. Boro have one or more opportunities on the break, but fail to grab a second goal. A crucial moment in the 91st minute comes as Antinio Barragan clumsily hacks Henriksen down in the box. Barragan is given a red card as The Riverside holds its breath... A Penalty! "Not again" groan the fans.

 

Snodgrass steps up to take the penalty, he runs, he shoots... but which way does Victor Valdes dive?

 

 

To his left  

 

Stays central 

 

To his right 

 

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"Right, David Nugent, Alvaro's injured, so you're in" says Aitor. Jordan Rhodes spits out his pre-match haggis and says "Hang aboot there gaffer, what's tha playing at, how come I never get a chance?!" Aitor takes Jordan to one side and says "BECAUSE I HATE YOU JORDAN RHODES, THAT'S WHY!" Before returning to his match preperations. He draws up the rest of the team on the whiteboard as the players gather round to see who made the grade. 

 

---------------------------Valdes----------------------

 

--Barragan--Chambers--Gibson--Fabio--

 

--------------Forshaw-------Clayton--------------

 

---------Traore-----Ramirez-----Downing----

 

------------------------Nugent-------------------------

 

Aitor told de Roon that he was dropped until he learned to differentiate defending from the hokey kokey.

 

The players made their way onto the pitch to thunderous applause. It was a dark night. The Riverside Stadium a beacon in the dark, lit by the new glorious floodlights. 

 

The referee blew his whistle and the match was underway. Boro faught hard, but the tigers were defending resilliantly. neither side fashioned any real chances until the 30th minute when Robert Snodgrass curled a speculative effort just wide. The teams went in at half time nils apiece, with the odd boo ringing out from an expectant and frustrated audience. 

 

Aitor knew he had to make a change at half time. But what does he do?

 

Take Nugent off for Rhodes 

 

Take Traore off for Rhodes and go 4-4-2  

 

 

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"Alvaro is our best option, our only option up front. We're going to stick with him and see if he can play off that concussion" Aitor announced to the players, including a bemused Jordan Rhodes. Alvaro was currently over by his locker, trying to pick a fight with the mirror.  The team Aitor put up on the tactics board was

 

 

---------------------------Valdes------------------------

 

--Barragan--Chambers--Gibson--Fabio--

 

--------------Forshaw--------de Roon--------------

 

---------Traore-----Ramirez-----Downing-----

 

---------------------------Negredo---------------------

 

 

The players begrudgingly trotted out with Alvaro at the helm. He poised, ready to take the kick off. As the referee blew his whistle, Alvaro passes the ball to the Hull team who go straight onto the attack. During the course of the game, Alvaro threads several lovely, defence-splitting through balls. Unfortunately however, it's his own defence he splits and inevitably, Robert Snodgrass gets on the end of one of these reverse through balls and slots the ball away to make it 1-0 to the visitors in the 23rd minute. 

 

Boro battle on, having little success as Negredo seems more interested in chatting up the corner flag than holding the ball up. half time comes and goes and nothing changes, apart from a second Hull goal scored by Diomandé in the 78th minute. By the 88th minute, Aitor decides that Boro need to change it up a bit. what does he do?

 

Tell the players to play ultra defensively, we don't want our goal difference adversely affected! 

 

Substitute Alvaro Negredo off for Jordan Rhodes 

 

Substitute Fabio off for Espinosa 

 

 

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"We're at Hull today Perky, better step on it"

 

"Course we are boss, course we are" Leo exclaimed "How did I forget?!". "Is it alright if we take the route over the moores boss, down through Malton and that? Beautiful scenery boss." "Absolutely not" said Aitor "We'll stick with what we know, I hate experimenting with Rhodes."

 

And so Leo obediently turned onto the A1(M) southbound and the team got settled down for a medium length journey which could take up to 2 hours (depending on traffic). As the coach trundled down the motorway, the Boro players were getting some strange looks from the people in cars travelling in the opposite direction. "Hey look boss, why's all them Hull fans there driving away from Hull, when the match is in Hull like you said boss?" "Haha, wouldn't you want to get away from Hull if you lived there" quipped Aitor. and the pair thought nothing more of it. A bit further down the motorway, Jordan Rhodes piped up "Isn't the match in Boro tonight Boss, I'm sure we're going the wrong way?" "SHUT UP JORDAN RHODES. I HATE YOU!" Aitor spat back. 

 

When the team coach finally pulled into the City of Culture 2017 at 7:30pm, it was deserted, there was no one there. "where is everyone boss" Leo asked. "You don't think the match was in Middlesbrough after all do you boss and they've all gone there boss... boss?!"

 

Aitor was aghast. They were in the wrong place and it was too late to make it back for the match. So instead of worrying about it, the team spend the evening exploring the delights of Hull. They went to the Deep aquarium and had some chips with chip spice on from the take-away. 

 

Upon returning to his Teesside office the next day, Aitor was shocked to find that Hull had been allowed to play the game in Middlesbrough's absence and had won 1-0. Aitor also recieved a phone call: "The board considers a deduction of 3 points is right and fair..." Middlesbrough are relegated to the Championship at the end of the 2016/17 season, finishing 5 points behind 17th placed Sunderland. Aitor Karanka leaves the club and Alan Shearer is named as the new manager by Steve Gibson who, in the press conference announcing the new manager states: "Yeah, I don't really give a s*** anymore..."

 

 

 

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"Right, im out of options, I'm  going to have to go with Jordan Rhodes, even though I don't really like him" Aitor explains to the waiting squad, the team will be:

 

 

 ----------------------Valdes--------------------

 

---Barragan---Chambers----Gibson----Fabio----

 

---------------Forshaw--------Clayton---------------

 

-----------Traore-----Ramirez-----Downing------------

 

------------------------Rhodes------------------------

 

 

The team burst into the game quickly, as the fans are in good spirit and cheering them on, both Downing and Ramirez have early chances, before Rhodes side foots a Traore cross into the bottom corner in the 18th minute. Goooal! The Boro are ahead! Aitor Karanka passes out an instruction to the team after the goal, but what is it?:

 

 

"Play defensively lads, keep it tight. A 1-0 win gets you as many points as a 3-0 win" 

 

"Go for a second, I don't want any complacency. We haven't won it yet!" 

 

 

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The fourth official held up the board as the players came out for the second half. "Please show your appreciation for David Nugent" an excited Mark Page announces, "and please welcome: Jordan Rhodes". The announcement was met with thunderous applause from the Riverside faithful and they felt renewed hope. 

 

Middlesbrough started the second half sloppily and almost gave away a goal as the the unpronnouncable Mbokani heads just over. The close call seemed to spur Middlesbrough into action and a flurry of attempts go the home sides way, finally, Boro get the breakthrough as Stewart Downing curls a lovely ball in from the left and Rhodes bundles the ball in the back of the net with his shin. GOALLL! 

 

Middlesbrough manage to hold on to win the game 1-0. "Not a classic by any means, but we'll take the three points over a relegation rival anyday. We've opened up a healthy gap between ourselves and the bottom three now" says Aitor Karanka in his post match press conference. Or at least that's what it sounded like...

 

 

THE END

 

 

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"Go for a second, I don't want any complacency. We haven't won it yet!" Aitor shouts to the players. He recognises a 1-0 lead so early in the game can be dangerous and wants a second (and hopefully a third) to put it to bed. The Boro comply with his demands, they stream forwards, attack after attack, but Hull hold firm. At half time Aitor praises the lads and simply asks for "more of the same". They go out in the second half and turn the screw on Hull again. in the 70th minute Hull withstand yet another attack from the Boro and turn defense into attack rapidly. Elmohamady breaks down the left wing and crosses the ball to the waiting Diomandé who bundles the ball into the net. Aitor is stunned. The crowd is stunned.

 

Hull see out the rest of the game, happy with a point on the road. 

 

 

THE END

 

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"The fans keep banging on about 4-4-2 and how they think Jordan is the savior, well, let them have it" Aitor said under his breath as he instructed the fourth official that he was bringing Traore off for Rhodes. Boro came out of the blocks quickly in the second half, but didn't manage to convert any of their 5 or 6 gilt-edged opportunities into goals. They recieved a sucker punch in the 70th minute when Elmohamady sneaks past a snoozing Barragan and slots the ball into the bottom corner of Valdes' net, leaving the Riverside reeling and Aitor thinking "told ya's so!" 

 

Boro are shocked into action by the goal and pile men forwards in search of an equaliser. The equaliser comes in the 89th minute as Ramirez slips a lovely through ball to David Nugent who strikes it powerfully through the goalkeepers outstretched arms and into the net. The Riverside goes wild, out of relief as much as anything.

 

 

The game ends 1-1 and the status quo is maintained at the bottom of the table, Boro still have a small amount of breathing space going into the next game.

 

 

THE END

 

 

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Aitor rings the changes, but sadly it's too late in the game to make any difference. Boro walk off the pitch dejected (apart from Negredo, who has an odd grin on his face, and a bit of dribble coming out of his mouth) and beaten 2-0 by a Hull team now above them in the table. Boro are set back by this performance and fail to win any of their next 15 games. Middlesbrough are relegated by February as Aitor continues to play the severely injured Negredo up front due to "a lack of options". Jordan Rhodes joins Wycombe Wanderers in search of game time...

 

 

THE END

 

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"Victor Valdes saves it, he dives to his left and he's saved it! Gerrin you little Spaniard" Neil Maddison's ecstatic commentary channels his old pal Ali Brownlee as Valdes pulls off the late penalty save to give Boro the victory. Teesside is rocking at the win and the lage drama.

 

Boro finish a comfortable 15th in the table after a successful first season back in the premier league.

 

 

It was a day the Middlesbrough team would never forget!

 

 

THE END

 

 

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