RiseAgainst

Is this why only a thousand people are allowed to attend tomorrow? Free spliffs for every attendee, to try and make the experience a bit more enjoyable?

1. No. We're playing really poorly, and I suspect confidence is low. 2. The new players need time to bed in. Warnock wanted to sign a new spine, and now he's got it. Betinnelli, Hall and Morsy all need to start. I think we have to play 352, even though we don't have the right type of players for it. 3. I reckon we need at least one CB, an ACM and two STs (one if Akpom joins). I'd love us to sign two pacey wingers, but Warnock won't play them. 4. We should improve because Warnock's a veteran. He'll drag decent performances out of us eventually, but probably mostly at home. 5. No. This club is starting to look toxic, even to people who don't follow it much. I don't think four months will change anyone's perception of whether we're worth joining. 6. I can't stand listening to Cherry Pie - even the band hate it. I think the ideal song for these febrile and troubled sociopolitical times would be "F**king Hostile" by Pantera, but Phil Anselmo probably isn't woke enough. I would suggest Mark Page loads up either "The Art of Losing" by American HiFi, "Bored Stiff" by Every Time I Die, or "Kill Me Quickly" by Thrice.

Yes, I've had that too. Last weekend, the OB site kept redirecting me to a page about my mobile provider offering me a free handset. Didn't happen on any other websites - I use Chrome on a Samsung Galaxy.

I hadn't heard Gibson had written off the debt, thought it would make sense considering he'll never get it back. He did something similar in 2009, IIRC. And yes, I'd also heard he's paying £12 million a year to keep us afloat - and that was when we still had bums on seats. Judging by last night's picture and sound quality, MFC won't be making much money from streaming provision in the coming months. As others have said, I don't think the starting XI was necessarily wrong last night. But the positioning of those players was inexcusable, the subs were baffling and the lack of in-game management was frustrating. Basically, we chucked it, and in the process jettisoned whatever feelgood factor we'd built up after the skunks game and scraping past Shrewsbury. Losing is a hard habit to break. Our esteemed manager would do well to ponder that while he tucks into his fry-up today.

Doesn't the club owe Gibson £80 million? Not defending his dismal record since Eindhoven or our woeful recruitment, but he's hardly in this for the $$$.

If Oxford > Watford and Watford > Boro, how bad are we?

Missed the first half because I didn't realise we had an idiotic kick-off time, but it really is sounding as though Warnock is conspiring to get us eliminated from the cup. I have always liked the guy, but I've lost a lot of respect for him tonight.

Does anyone know how those 1,000 people are selected?

EFL Cup - Middlesbrough v Barnsley, 6pm Tuesday 15th September Scene 1: Int (Daytime) [A café table at Scotch Corner Services. Neil Warnock is eating a full English breakfast when a man in dark glasses and a raincoat sidles up and sits in the seat behind him, back to back.] WARNOCK: Ey up, lad. SCOUT: Don’t turn around. We’ll talk like this. WARNOCK: Oh God, not this Breaking Bad cosplay again. Just tell us what you found out about Barnsley before I put something in your tea. SCOUT [sighing]: You’re no fun any more. You should have retired back in the Eighties. [He pulls out a manila folder and passes it to Warnock, who drips egg yolk onto a long-distance photo of Luke Thomas looking particularly gormless] WARNOCK: So, Barnsley. From what you've seen in the bushes, are they any good? SCOUT: Not really. But we’re not, either, judging by Friday night. WARNOCK: That's the lot with Jaap Stam in charge, yeah? SCOUT: Looks like him, but he's called Gerhard Struber. Not a very interesting fella, but he did cry live on telly after they avoided relegation on the last day of the season. WARNOCK: What a bloody wuss. SCOUT: I thought it was quite moving. Anyway, they won their first round cup game against Forest, when Cauley Woodrow scored the only goal. WARNOCK: Pah, we scored four goals in round one. SCOUT: And conceded three. To Shrewsbury. Anyway, Barnsley played on Saturday so they'll be knackered for an away game on Tuesday. They lost as well, 1-0 to Luton. WARNOCK: Anything else I should tell the lads? SCOUT: Not much. They've got players called Frieser and Oduor. They like a 4312 formation with three defensive midfielders, just like... WARNOCK [shuddering]: Don't say his name. Bad enough I keep finding baseball caps hidden around Rockliffe, like cat turds. Okay, they're defensive and a bit crap. Reckon we can win? SCOUT: Got 0-0 all over it, mate. I stuck a tenner on a no-score draw earlier, with us losing after Britt skies his penalty and then sparks a lengthy debate on whether a captain should smile after he's been s**t. WARNOCK: Good work, son. Fancy some fried bread for the drive back? [Scout pulls up overcoat collar and stands up to leave. Scene ends.] Questions for the audience: 1. Do we change the team who played against Watford? 2. Would you rather Boro won the Carabao Cup this season, or got promoted? 3. What's the best part of a fried breakfast?

No problem, sir. I will wait for the result of Barnsley Luton later, have a look on the Barnsley forums for a thread about us, and then upload the MDT this evening.

A squad?

I reckon his nickname was Inspector.

Great analysis, and thanks for the post. At the very least, let's hope it's a good game for everyone watching on Sky!

I think we have to go 352 in the absence of wide players. I'd imagine he'll pick his strongest XI on paper, so the Ballyclare Beckenbauer will come back into defence. We're live on Sky, so I expect a dull 1-1, with Fletcher scoring for us and a midfielder netting for them. Hopefully Bettinelli, but otherwise I doubt we'll have anyone across the line in time. I am absolutely certain we won't be battling relegation. Warnock is a master at making the most of limited resources, and as I said recently on the transfer thread, many of our players would be considered high-end Championship quality if we hadn't had to endure several years of Pulis anti-football and Woodgate what-is-football. The fact Warnock dragged four successive away wins out of a demoralised and leggy squad almost overnight shows how talented he is. I think promotion is beyond us, but I'd be very surprised if we aren't top half assuming he lasts the season out.

Post of the day, simply for using this word. I write for a living, and I still had to look it up. Purely in the interests of research, I went onto a well-known website which hosts short video clips of adults engaged in various strenuous activities, and entered 'pulchritudinous' into the Search bar. Out of 13 million videos hosted on the site, only one result came up. It was a very good video.