Boro v Barnsley 0-2

[RiseAgainst 1,015]

EFL Cup - Middlesbrough v Barnsley, 6pm Tuesday 15th September

Scene 1: Int (Daytime)

[A café table at Scotch Corner Services. Neil Warnock is eating a full English breakfast when a man in dark glasses and a raincoat sidles up and sits in the seat behind him, back to back.]

WARNOCK: Ey up, lad.

SCOUT: Don’t turn around. We’ll talk like this.

WARNOCK: Oh God, not this Breaking Bad cosplay again. Just tell us what you found out about Barnsley before I put something in your tea.

SCOUT [sighing]: You’re no fun any more. You should have retired back in the Eighties. [He pulls out a manila folder and passes it to Warnock, who drips egg yolk onto a long-distance photo of Luke Thomas looking particularly gormless]

WARNOCK: So, Barnsley. From what you've seen in the bushes, are they any good?

SCOUT: Not really. But we’re not, either, judging by Friday night. 

WARNOCK: That's the lot with Jaap Stam in charge, yeah?

SCOUT: Looks like him, but he's called Gerhard Struber. Not a very interesting fella, but he did cry live on telly after they avoided relegation on the last day of the season.

WARNOCK: What a bloody wuss.

SCOUT: I thought it was quite moving. Anyway, they won their first round cup game against Forest, when Cauley Woodrow scored the only goal.

WARNOCK: Pah, we scored four goals in round one.

SCOUT: And conceded three. To Shrewsbury. Anyway, Barnsley played on Saturday so they'll be knackered for an away game on Tuesday. They lost as well, 1-0 to Luton.

WARNOCK: Anything else I should tell the lads?

SCOUT: Not much. They've got players called Frieser and Oduor. They like a 4312 formation with three defensive midfielders, just like...

WARNOCK [shuddering]: Don't say his name. Bad enough I keep finding baseball caps hidden around Rockliffe, like cat turds. Okay, they're defensive and a bit crap. Reckon we can win?

SCOUT: Got 0-0 all over it, mate. I stuck a tenner on a no-score draw earlier, with us losing after Britt skies his penalty and then sparks a lengthy debate on whether a captain should smile after he's been s**t.

WARNOCK: Good work, son. Fancy some fried bread for the drive back?

[Scout pulls up overcoat collar and stands up to leave. Scene ends.]

Questions for the audience:

1. Do we change the team who played against Watford?

2. Would you rather Boro won the Carabao Cup this season, or got promoted?

3. What's the best part of a fried breakfast?

[Blanco 1,229]

Good opening post @RiseAgainst

1. Definitely not. We need to make use of our miniscule squad 

2. Would absolutely love both but I suppose promotion is the bigger prize 

3. The egg. Definitely a fried egg 

[TLF10 1,022]

Hahaha nice scene. Wish I was there.

1. Yes. I would give all the subs from Friday night a start along with Morsy and Foralin.

2. 10000% promotion.

3. The bit at the end where you use the toast to clean your plate up.

Team:

GK (whichever one is staying)

Wood Hall Fry

Spence Wing Morsy Bola

Browne Fletcher Coulson

Hall needs more games to get his match sharpness up hence him starting.

[TeaCider24 1,544]

Yes.

I'd take a trophy, any day of the week.

I'd say the bacon.

[Smogzilla 924]

That is Brilliant. 🤣🤣

We need to make this a running theme in the match day threads.

[LewisBoroPalfrey 331]

[Blanco 1,229]

13 minutes ago, LewisBoroPalfrey said:

That’s asking a hell of a lot from Morsy. To be the only midfielder to put in any effort. I would hope Warnock would be too shrewd for that

[Uwe 1,600]

Great OP 👍

Keep the same as we can’t really afford to change it

 Trophy 🏆 

Black pudding every time 😋

[SmogDane 1,445]

Pigs in blankets.. Always order extra on the side..  Yum yum 

Edited September 12, 2020 by SmogDane

[Tobermory 87]

1. Do we change the team who played against Watford?

I think we will see a lot of players rested, someone said in another thread that kids would be used, but assuming 3-5-2 again...

--------------------------Bettinelli

---------------Dijksteel - Fry - Wood

Spence - Tavernier - Morsy - Wing - Coulson

------------------Browne

---------------------------Fletcher

2. Would you rather Boro won the Carabao Cup this season, or got promoted?

Win the cup.  Winning the cup will stay in the records forever, and fans will remember it for as long as they live.  Promotions are great, but if it was a choice between the Premier League trophy and the FA Cup I'd say league every time.

3. What's the best part of a fried breakfast?

The most disappointing thing is bad sausages, or an egg with a solid yolk.  Best thing, good bacon.  But even bad bacon is bacon and therefore sacred.

[SmogDane 1,445]

       Baconelli

Fry'ed Egg, Halls, Wood Gordon Bleu

Spence, Morsypan, Sausageville, Bowla soup

ChickenWing, 

Folarin, Fletcher

 

[DurhamRed 717]

Nice match day thread. 

                         Dejan 

                 Fry.      Hall.    Wood 

Dijksteel.                                  Coulson

                  Wing.       Morsy    

                          Browne. 

                 Britt.             Fletcher 

 

 

I would like Browne, Wood, Coulson to have a chance this game. Also Dejan a game as do feel for him   

 

2. Promotion alot more than the cup for me. As with promotion we can play top sides every week while winning the cup we just be back to playing a Wycombe week later. 

3 . Hash brown

 

 

Edited September 12, 2020 by DurhamRed

[Downsouth 1,529]

Great OP RA well done!

Even though it is only Barnsley keeping us from tearing Chelsea a new one we have to remember how difficult we found it playing them last season so or confidence purposes as strong a team as possible because you never knowwhat could happen at the bridge

[SmogDane 1,445]

8 hours ago, DurhamRed said:

Nice match day thread. 

                         Dejan 

                 Fry.      Hall.    Wood 

Dijksteel.                                  Coulson

                  Wing.       Morsy    

                          Browne. 

                 Britt.             Fletcher 

 

 

I would like Browne, Wood, Coulson to have a chance this game. Also Dejan a game as do feel for him   

 

2. Promotion alot more than the cup for me. As with promotion we can play top sides every week while winning the cup we just be back to playing a Wycombe week later. 

3 . Hash brown

 

 

#hashbrowne 

[BearSmog 558]

1. Do we change the team who played against Watford?

We don't have the squad to make too many changes. Expect 3-4, Wood, Bola, Browne and Morsy coming in.

2. Would you rather Boro won the Carabao Cup this season, or got promoted?

Promotion. Can't see us beating Chelsea so the first option is null in my eyes.

3. What's the best part of a fried breakfast?

Good quality veggie sausages.