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Dan's Summer Transfer Thread. Aka: " Post Mortem Time""


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27 minutes ago, Changing Times said:

It’s also a great insight into why he wasn’t able to make the next step in his career.  He doesn’t want to train, he doesn’t want to eat correctly, and by the sounds of it, he’d prefer a lifestyle that is far more relaxed than a professional athlete tends to have.  He has felt hard done by but I suspect that it’s his own attitudes to these things that have held him back.  Professional and semi professional football has been littered with lads who were talented enough to play at a much higher level but just weren’t prepared to commit to it.  Boro had that lad a while back, Porritt wasn’t it, who had plenty of talent but didn’t have the commitment/professionalism/desire to put the required work into it.  

I was going to say something like this but couldn't find the right way to say it.

Like he said, and we all know, football isn't easy. The life of any professional athlete isn't easy, and is only getting harder despite the increasing money. Somebody tells you what to eat, when to eat, how and when to exercise, you have to turn up to training every day and bust your ass to get to the top. Talent takes you so far, and Marcus Maddison very clearly has it in bucketloads, but if you're not willing to make sacrifices like turning up early, eating what you're told and living how you're told then you will only get so far as he has found out the hard way. And if he doesn't enjoy living that life then it's the right decision to leave, even at L1 level I imagine he has made a pretty penny through his career.

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I think it's just important to realise that everyone has a unique experience with mental health and each person has a unique approach to deal with it.  It's not something that is 'one size fits all' .

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I’ve never suffered with mental health issues growing up. 3 tours of Iraq including the initial invasion and 3 tours of Afghan including Sangin in 06 and Nad Ali I’ve seen some pretty brutal things and still sleep like a baby. Why does this matter? Because not everyone I know does. I was massively insensitive to any form of mental trauma. Now I know there are people out there that genuinely need help but I also know there are people out there willing to abuse the system for their own benefit. My problem I was too concerned calling out the latter than I was helping the former. 
As I matured and educated myself on the issues along with completing courses in Trauma Risk Management (TRiM) my focus shifted 180°. 
Like many have said there’s no silver bullet for treatment. Some people need tough love, others need working like dogs others need support groups, signposting to professional medical practitioners. 
Nobody is right or wrong in their assessment of it as every case/experience is so very different.
However the fact that so many can come on here open up and discuss some very personal issues proves to me as a society we’re heading in the right direction. Still a long way to go. 
To that end I don’t give a flying 🦆  if this thread is derailed for a while. If it gets people talking (especially men then this forum is a winner) please keep it up 👏👏👏👏

 (if anyone does have some transfer news please feel free to add that too 😉)

 

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Going to put two and two together to make a rumour 

Neil Warnock says he’s after a midfielder. Lincoln say Jorge Grant is going to the championship.

we are therefore signing grant to replace saville

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1 hour ago, Denzel Zanzibar said:

No it isn't, it's not at all what you were trying to say. 

You were basically saying mental health can be fixed by sufferers pulling themselves up by their bootstraps, and while that approach may work for some, it's no use for a lot of people.

 

Would you shut up please!

I wasn't at all talking about mental health untill you brought it up, like I never had experienced something like that ...

So don't try to force your opinion of what I intended to say!

It's not my responsibility, what you make of my words ...

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51 minutes ago, BearSmog said:

I think it's just important to realise that everyone has a unique experience with mental health and each person has a unique approach to deal with it.  It's not something that is 'one size fits all' .

I can agree with this.. but what NOT to do is basically a one size fits all ...

 

 

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1 hour ago, wilsoncgp said:

That's mad, I literally had the same type of anxiety, mate. I've had it once about 8-9 years ago and I had it once just a couple of years ago again. I'm seriously glad you got through it because it's utterly terrifying. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.

I initially had a bad experience with psychiatrists too. The first one I went to see was amazing, I was only 16-17 and she took me through a lot and I remember being really happy until she said she was leaving that week and so I'd be handed off to somebody else. I just thought, great, I'm not doing this again with someone else and sacked them off immediately. It wasn't her fault of course, couldn't thank her enough. But the system certainly felt a bit naff that I got booked in as a young lad scared and angry about my mental health and didn't get a consistent therapist.

Having said that, I did CBT therapy about 6 years ago when I was in London and it was amazing. Having a consistent therapist was a good start. I also did a 4 week course that was more generalised and it was really well delivered. I'm slightly more optimistic about the quality of the care nowadays though the one thing people still seem to say is that unless you're going private, you may have to wait a hell of a long time to speak to someone properly face-to-face. When it got bad 2 years ago, I instead got put through a digital service called SilverCloud and whilst it was a bit less personal, it was quite good for me.

Glad you found something that helps you!

The psychiatrist I visited, said the right things, I guess ... But I was not in a state, or age, where I  wanted to listen ... 

I was to busy, fearing that I would feel like hell for ever ... 

But it was his words, I remembered, when I was ready to do something, after too long time of burying myself in front of the tv, hiding from the rest of the world. 

So everything was maybe my own fault , cause I just wanted it to go away, but wasn't keen on doing anything my self ... 

But maybe I needed that year of hell and really no joy at all ... To become who I am today ... 

It made me so very strong, when the puzzle was solved in my mind, by my mind ...

 

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1 hour ago, Uwe said:

 I was massively insensitive to any form of mental trauma.

Being a Boro fan conditioned you to it.  After that, the death and destruction of Iraq and Afghanistan paled by comparison.  The British Military forces should just buy all recruits a Boro season ticket, and PTSD will never be a factor again.

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9 hours ago, Riverside94 said:

Assombalonga is that you?

i'm not a footballer in my youth better at rugby union. if i actually liked rugby i might have played a decent level, i actually did when in forces but didnt realize it at the time. until i went to watch billingham 1st years after i left forces and was shocked how poor the standard was. couldnt believe how average they were across the field. the old bloke next to me agreed they were *** lol

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  • Downsouth changed the title to Dan's Summer Transfer Thread. Aka: " Post Mortem Time""
  • Old Codger changed the title to Dan's Summer Transfer Thread. Aka: " Sporar Tomorar?""

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