Dan's Summer Transfer Thread. Aka: " Post Mortem Time""

[Borodane 6,301]

HSV or Boro. Can’t see us ever having a chance in that race. 

[SzilardNemethsCurtains 2,844]

5 hours ago, Uwe said:

I’ve never suffered with mental health issues growing up. 3 tours of Iraq including the initial invasion and 3 tours of Afghan including Sangin in 06 and Nad Ali I’ve seen some pretty brutal things and still sleep like a baby. Why does this matter? Because not everyone I know does. I was massively insensitive to any form of mental trauma. Now I know there are people out there that genuinely need help but I also know there are people out there willing to abuse the system for their own benefit. My problem I was too concerned calling out the latter than I was helping the former. 
As I matured and educated myself on the issues along with completing courses in Trauma Risk Management (TRiM) my focus shifted 180°. 
Like many have said there’s no silver bullet for treatment. Some people need tough love, others need working like dogs others need support groups, signposting to professional medical practitioners. 
Nobody is right or wrong in their assessment of it as every case/experience is so very different.
However the fact that so many can come on here open up and discuss some very personal issues proves to me as a society we’re heading in the right direction. Still a long way to go. 
To that end I don’t give a flying 🦆  if this thread is derailed for a while. If it gets people talking (especially men then this forum is a winner) please keep it up 👏👏👏👏

 (if anyone does have some transfer news please feel free to add that too 😉)

 

Great post, there has been a few great posts on this subject and absolutely a worthwhile derailment

Keep talking lads and you're all doing better than you know

[thatoldchestnut 583]

2 hours ago, scotty189 said:

That fee can't be right surely, we would have been all over it at all that price

Maybe we just didn't want him.

[RiseAgainst 3,793]

A quick word on mental health: I've overcome three acute periods of depression. Stubbornly refused meds every time, and dragged myself through with sheer determination. By contrast, the wife suffers from crippling anxiety and needs Citalopram to cope. It doesn't matter what route you need to take - the important thing is everyone can hopefully find their own way through the darkness. I wish more people felt confident enough to share their experiences on forums like this - it makes the world a less scary place for anyone presently at the bottom of a hole. 

A quick word on the transfer window: s***e.

[Oslo_Syd 320]

Regarding mental health – although it’s way off topic – I thought I would add my own experience. I lived in Holland for 19 years with a beautiful woman who gradually descended into alcoholism and finally died of cirrhosis. We had a son together who was 13 when she died. The last few years of her life were hell on earth for my son and me. And I was suddenly the only wage-earner; the bank was foreclosing on our mortgage and I owed money to the taxman. Big money.

As a Yorkshireman, I had been bought up to be the strong, dependable guy, and I had to be dependable for my son’s sake. But it took its toll on me. Within a few weeks of my wife’s death, I developed agoraphobia. I started to get panic attacks, particularly when driving. I panicked in shops, at the post office, carrying a tray of food. I suddenly had a fear of heights, which I had never had before. And all the time I was working every hour God made to keep a roof over our heads. I tried to keep cheerful and pretend that everything was fine, but I was deeply depressed. In meltdown.

What turned it around? Sheer luck and time. I met a Norwegian lady who could see beyond the damaged goods and offered me endless support – that was the luck. The time? Well, I’m now 20 years down the road and able to function normally. You still won’t get me up a ladder, so my new wife - not so new now - has to do the roof repairs. Things didn’t change overnight; it all went very slowly, bit by sodding bit. There came a point when I realised that it had taken me many years to get into my depression, and it would take me many years to get out of it. I can’t say that I’m the same person I was before all of that trauma, but I can function okay.

Maybe what really saved me was that I refused to give into it. When I was scared to drive, I made myself drive. When I panicked in a shop, I told myself that it wasn’t going to kill me.

But my message to anyone suffering from depression is: give it time. You already recognise the problem and it WILL get better over time. Confront your demons. And you don't need meds.

Back on topic, things are really looking bleak on the transfer front unless Warnock and MFC are playing very coy. Be prepared to see one striker signed, and probably from a lower league. Oh, I forgot I’m not supposed to be depressed.

[Brunners 7,982]

On the plus side Derby could still be relegated, so silver linings everybody.

[Old Codger 3,064]

On the bright side Syd..  You were born a Yorkshireman, not a Geordie..  You found a good woman who loves you for what you are. Like my late wife, she was able to see past the exterior and liked the view..  Hope you have many more years together.  

[LBP 3,035]

We'll take Tom Lawrence off Derby's hands for a nominal fee if they're found guilty like 

Weren't we linked with Waghorn on a free at some point?

[Riverside94 962]

7 hours ago, Brunners said:

On the plus side Derby could still be relegated, so silver linings everybody.

What a farce the EFL are though. Surely this should have been sorted by the end of the season. Imagine Wycombe planning for league one and in pre-season to be told oh hang on you’re back in the championship

[Barnaby 957]

7 hours ago, Oslo_Syd said:

Regarding mental health – although it’s way off topic – I thought I would add my own experience. I lived in Holland for 19 years with a beautiful woman who gradually descended into alcoholism and finally died of cirrhosis. We had a son together who was 13 when she died. The last few years of her life were hell on earth for my son and me. And I was suddenly the only wage-earner; the bank was foreclosing on our mortgage and I owed money to the taxman. Big money.

As a Yorkshireman, I had been bought up to be the strong, dependable guy, and I had to be dependable for my son’s sake. But it took its toll on me. Within a few weeks of my wife’s death, I developed agoraphobia. I started to get panic attacks, particularly when driving. I panicked in shops, at the post office, carrying a tray of food. I suddenly had a fear of heights, which I had never had before. And all the time I was working every hour God made to keep a roof over our heads. I tried to keep cheerful and pretend that everything was fine, but I was deeply depressed. In meltdown.

What turned it around? Sheer luck and time. I met a Norwegian lady who could see beyond the damaged goods and offered me endless support – that was the luck. The time? Well, I’m now 20 years down the road and able to function normally. You still won’t get me up a ladder, so my new wife - not so new now - has to do the roof repairs. Things didn’t change overnight; it all went very slowly, bit by sodding bit. There came a point when I realised that it had taken me many years to get into my depression, and it would take me many years to get out of it. I can’t say that I’m the same person I was before all of that trauma, but I can function okay.

Maybe what really saved me was that I refused to give into it. When I was scared to drive, I made myself drive. When I panicked in a shop, I told myself that it wasn’t going to kill me.

But my message to anyone suffering from depression is: give it time. You already recognise the problem and it WILL get better over time. Confront your demons. And you don't need meds.

Back on topic, things are really looking bleak on the transfer front unless Warnock and MFC are playing very coy. Be prepared to see one striker signed, and probably from a lower league. Oh, I forgot I’m not supposed to be depressed.

Being Realistic is not a bad thing, the teams coming down are going to be in a much better position than the rest, we're not going to be spending our way out of the Championship anytime soon, if we get out, it will be through hard graft and our youngsters

[Downsouth 6,326]

The way some of our members have described dealing with MHI is a real example as to how we should deal with and expect from the transfer window😑

[Snowblind 1,734]

Great to see so many - men especially - talking openly about their mental health on here. Talking to someone, even in hindsight, is a huge step. Proud of this forum for that ✊🏻

[Dynamo Kev 1,557]

suffer from anxiety myself. gets worse as you get older i reckon. its like you dont realize u have to manage it when younger. i didnt even realize i suffered from it. i hated being in big groups as a kid the bigger the group the more triggered i got. its awful. but as you get older you become more familiar with what triggers it. so you can sort of manage it better.  staying away from situations you know will trigger you is a must. once grow up and have all the responsibility(stress) on top of the anxiety problems. it can overwhelm you. i did to me once i had a mini breakdown. but recovered after a couple of years. currently coping with it. lock down hasnt been a problem from me. not had to suffer from the social anxiety i normally would be trying to deal with hahaha

 

[GrimsbyBoro 1,968]

Could we pin a thread to the main page for MH? It’s a conversation that should perhaps be easier to access.

[SzilardNemethsCurtains 2,844]

Not a lot happening beyond the odd frees and return of loans, no real standout signings that I am particularly jealous of 

https://www.transfermarkt.co.uk/championship/transfers/wettbewerb/GB2/plus/?saison_id=2021&s_w=&leihe=1&intern=0&intern=1