Boro vs Sheffield Wednesday 3-1 (Bolasie, Coburn, Watmore)

[RiseAgainst 3,793]

Scene 1: Int (Night)

[It’s 3am in a kitchen lit by the glow of the moon. Neil Warnock walks in yawning, wearing Paddington Bear pyjamas and fluffy slippers. He opens the fridge and takes out a bottle of milk. When he shuts the door, a ghostly white apparition has appeared behind it]

WARNOCK [dropping the milk]: Jesus Christ!

APPARITION: Not quite. [The ghostly white features move closer] No use crying over it, though, eh?

WARNOCK: G…Garry?

APPARITION: Yes. It is me. Garry.

WARNOCK [looking around wildly]: How the hell did you get into my kitchen?

MONK: I go wherever I want, and nobody ever seems to stop me. I find it quite peculiar. Middlesbrough…Birmingham…Sheffield Wednesday…Sky…I have the ability to slither in without invitation and then hang around until the scales fall off people’s eyes and they see me for what I really am.

WARNOCK [composing himself]: So why are you in my house, Friar Took-all-the-money?

MONK: I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed watching the Rotherham game on Wednesday.

WARNOCK: I bloody didn’t. I had to fill the bench with kids. They had an average age of 11.

MONK: No, I didn’t enjoy watching Middlesbrough. I enjoyed watching Rotherham. I get a certain pleasure from watching teams getting relegated. I mean, I get a lot of pleasure. It gives me a semi-final feeling.

WARNOCK: Well, you certainly gave relegation a good go with my lot.

MONK: I did my best, but my plan didn’t work at Middlesbrough. I was hoping to bankrupt them, but Mr Gibson found a Post-It note with my calculations of how many strikers I needed to buy to guarantee liquidation. He made me leave before I could finish the job. I did hope Tony Bent would finish what I started, but he spent all the money on defenders so they ended up drawing every game 0-0. Even the village idiot couldn’t find his way to League One. And then you came along with your mid-table mediocrity. [Hisses] You hero.

WARNOCK: Hero? We’re tenth. And we’re bloody broke, thanks to you. I only found Watmore cos he was working in the local Sainsbury's garage when I went to fill up the Montego. His signing-on fee was a Big Mac meal cos he hadn’t eaten for three days.

MONK: You’re still not going to be relegated, though. Such a disappointment. But my greatest project is Sheffield Wednesday. I've really put them through it, haven't I? Oh, that's managers for you; they always know which buttons to press.

WARNOCK: The self-destruct one in your case. I still can’t believe what a shambles you made of that transfer kitty. I’m having to let Fletcher and Assombalonga leave for free cos we can’t afford to pay them any more. We've even prised all the 50p pieces out of the electricity meter, and it's still not enough.

MONK [runs his tongue over his teeth]: I did my best. In the end, I couldn’t get Boro relegated, but I sowed the seeds of the club's decline. They'd be established in the Premier League if I hadn't buggered up the finances so much. Which means you'd be a Premier League manager, instead of a Championship one again. It was all me, Neil. It’s always been me. The author of all your pain.

Scene 2: Int (Night)

[The Warnock marital bed. Mrs W is wearing a Bri-Nylon nightie and an eye mask, sitting up as her husband rolls around screaming]

MRS W [shaking Warnock awake]: Neil? Neil? Wake up!

WARNOCK [trembling]: Oh God, that was awful.

MRS W: The James Bond dream again?

WARNOCK: Yes. But this time, the baddy was a snake.

MRS W [calmly]: Oh, it was Monk this time, was it? You really need to stop eating Stilton before bed. You know it gives you nightmares.

WARNOCK [rubbing eyes]: I'll give you nightmares. Have you seen my injury list?

[Ends]

 

Match details:

It’s a 3pm kick-off on Saturday, at ‘fortress’ Riverside.

 

Form guide:

We’re mired in mid-table mediocrity, but Wednesday may be about to follow Boro’s example of being relegated due to a points deduction. At least their descent will be less high-profile than their near neighbours United, who are about to follow Boro’s example of being relegated with less than 30 points.

 

View from the other side:

No MDT from the familiar-looking Owlstalk forum yet, but there is a thread called “Colin loves us really”, which is worth a read.

 

Questions for the audience:

1.       Who makes your starting XI?

2.       Given Connor Malley’s man-of-the-match debut, which other youngsters would you like to see in the squad/team?

3.       If you could only choose one, would you prefer to see Wednesday or Derby go down?

[thatoldchestnut 583]

2 hours ago, RiseAgainst said:

Scene 1: Int (Night)

[It’s 3am in a kitchen lit by the glow of the moon. Neil Warnock walks in yawning, wearing Paddington Bear pyjamas and fluffy slippers. He opens the fridge and takes out a bottle of milk. When he shuts the door, a ghostly white apparition has appeared behind it]

WARNOCK [dropping the milk]: Jesus Christ!

APPARITION: Not quite. [The ghostly white features move closer] No use crying over it, though, eh?

WARNOCK: G…Garry?

APPARITION: Yes. It is me. Garry.

WARNOCK [looking around wildly]: How the hell did you get into my kitchen?

MONK: I go wherever I want, and nobody ever seems to stop me. I find it quite peculiar. Middlesbrough…Birmingham…Sheffield Wednesday…Sky…I have the ability to slither in without invitation and then hang around until the scales fall off people’s eyes and they see me for what I really am.

WARNOCK [composing himself]: So why are you in my house, Friar Took-all-the-money?

MONK: I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed watching the Rotherham game on Wednesday.

WARNOCK: I bloody didn’t. I had to fill the bench with kids. They had an average age of 11.

MONK: No, I didn’t enjoy watching Middlesbrough. I enjoyed watching Rotherham. I get a certain pleasure from watching teams getting relegated. I mean, I get a lot of pleasure. It gives me a semi-final feeling.

WARNOCK: Well, you certainly gave relegation a good go with my lot.

MONK: I did my best, but my plan didn’t work at Middlesbrough. I was hoping to bankrupt them, but Mr Gibson found a Post-It note with my calculations of how many strikers I needed to buy to guarantee liquidation. He made me leave before I could finish the job. I did hope Tony Bent would finish what I started, but he spent all the money on defenders so they ended up drawing every game 0-0. Even the village idiot couldn’t find his way to League One. And then you came along with your mid-table mediocrity. [Hisses] You hero.

WARNOCK: Hero? We’re tenth. And we’re bloody broke, thanks to you. I only found Watmore cos he was working in the local Sainsbury's garage when I went to fill up the Montego. His signing-on fee was a Big Mac meal cos he hadn’t eaten for three days.

MONK: You’re still not going to be relegated, though. Such a disappointment. But my greatest project is Sheffield Wednesday. I've really put them through it, haven't I? Oh, that's managers for you; they always know which buttons to press.

WARNOCK: The self-destruct one in your case. I still can’t believe what a shambles you made of that transfer kitty. I’m having to let Fletcher and Assombalonga leave for free cos we can’t afford to pay them any more. We've even prised all the 50p pieces out of the electricity meter, and it's still not enough.

MONK [runs his tongue over his teeth]: I did my best. In the end, I couldn’t get Boro relegated, but I sowed the seeds of the club's decline. They'd be established in the Premier League if I hadn't buggered up the finances so much. Which means you'd be a Premier League manager, instead of a Championship one again. It was all me, Neil. It’s always been me. The author of all your pain.

Scene 2: Int (Night)

[The Warnock marital bed. Mrs W is wearing a Bri-Nylon nightie and an eye mask, sitting up as her husband rolls around screaming]

MRS W [shaking Warnock awake]: Neil? Neil? Wake up!

WARNOCK [trembling]: Oh God, that was awful.

MRS W: The James Bond dream again?

WARNOCK: Yes. But this time, the baddy was a snake.

MRS W [calmly]: Oh, it was Monk this time, was it? You really need to stop eating Stilton before bed. You know it gives you nightmares.

WARNOCK [rubbing eyes]: I'll give you nightmares. Have you seen my injury list?

[Ends]

 

Match details:

It’s a 3pm kick-off on Saturday, at ‘fortress’ Riverside.

 

Form guide:

We’re mired in mid-table mediocrity, but Wednesday may be about to follow Boro’s example of being relegated due to a points deduction. At least their descent will be less high-profile than their near neighbours United, who are about to follow Boro’s example of being relegated with less than 30 points.

 

View from the other side:

No MDT from the familiar-looking Owlstalk forum yet, but there is a thread called “Colin loves us really”, which is worth a read.

 

Questions for the audience:

1.       Who makes your starting XI?

2.       Given Connor Malley’s man-of-the-match debut, which other youngsters would you like to see in the squad/team?

3.       If you could only choose one, would you prefer to see Wednesday or Derby go down?

Derby without any doubt.

[White Band 831]

No idea about starting 11 as I have completely lost track of all the players who are out (feels like there are more out than available).

I would like to see Hayden Hackney again.  I don't think we got a fair look at him when he came on against Brentford as they were in superb form and totally unbeatable at that point.

Would love Derby to be relegated.  Would have accepted a loss yesterday if it would have meant Derby got relegated instead of Rotherham.  The FA have totally screwed Rotherham in the past - much more so than us with the Blackburn/points deduction where we were relegated - and have let Derby get away with things other clubs would have been slaughtered for.

[TLF10 4,496]

100% Derby to go down over Sheff Wed. Ideally both go down as I want Rotherham to survive.

I would like Brynn to be given a chance in goal. Maybe v Luton and Wycombe where both games could be dead rubber.
 

I would like Chuba to be given a run for next 3 games with Coburn coming on after the hour mark or so.

We also seem to have a few decent left footed defenders in youth ranks so be good to see one or two of them given a go. Clearly Bola is our first choice left back so be good to see if any of the younger LBs got potential to step up. Maybe not v Sheff Wed but v Luton which is a dead rubbee for both teams.

Archer

Hall Paddy Bola

Fisher Malley Sav Marv

Kebano Chuba Bolasie

[White Band 831]

1 hour ago, TLF10 said:

100% Derby to go down over Sheff Wed. Ideally both go down as I want Rotherham to survive.

I would like Brynn to be given a chance in goal. Maybe v Luton and Wycombe where both games could be dead rubber.
 

I would like Chuba to be given a run for next 3 games with Coburn coming on after the hour mark or so.

We also seem to have a few decent left footed defenders in youth ranks so be good to see one or two of them given a go. Clearly Bola is our first choice left back so be good to see if any of the younger LBs got potential to step up. Maybe not v Sheff Wed but v Luton which is a dead rubbee for both teams.

Archer

Hall Paddy Bola

Fisher Malley Sav Marv

Kebano Chuba Bolasie

I think Fisher is injured?

[Denzel Zanzibar 6,972]

Same as against Rotherham, unless Hall is out in which case Malley should start.

Coburn, Hackney, Koloko

Derby, easily. 

 

[TLF10 4,496]

I forgot to ask this in the Rotherham thread so will ask here. Do any other posters think Archer got away with less criticism than he was due for Rotherham's first goal?

If that was Bettinelli he would have got pelters. Rightly so.

Archer kind of came for it, missed it and then was caught in no mans land. Dont get me wrong Bola marking was weak but Archer did not help the matter in my opinion.

[DanFromDownSouth 1,706]

49 minutes ago, TLF10 said:

I forgot to ask this in the Rotherham thread so will ask here. Do any other posters think Archer got away with less criticism than he was due for Rotherham's first goal?

If that was Bettinelli he would have got pelters. Rightly so.

Archer kind of came for it, missed it and then was caught in no mans land. Dont get me wrong Bola marking was weak but Archer did not help the matter in my opinion.

I do recall comments/criticism directed at Archer for the first goal in the thread. But I think there is a degree of leniency towards him, partly as this was only his 2nd start (I think) of the season. Plus when he signed most had relatively low expectations of his ability and then as the season has progressed the low expectations in general for our Keepers (due to Bettinelli's poor displays).

[wilsoncgp 9,283]

1.       Who makes your starting XI?

Given what we know about the availability of players, lack of defensive cover there and assuming no other youngsters come into the squad, I might go with this. Kebano has done a good job and no hard feelings but if there's no chance he's gonna be here next season, I'm not fussed if we leave him on the bench.

Brynn
Howson McNair Bola
Spence Malley Saville Johnson
Watmore Bolasie
Coburn

It sounds like Spence and maybe Coulson will be back but only on the bench, so I suspect it will look about the same as we ended the game against Rotherham.

2.       Given Connor Malley’s man-of-the-match debut, which other youngsters would you like to see in the squad/team?

I would like to see Spence finish out the season and I'd like to see Coburn and Hackney with more time on the pitch.

3.       If you could only choose one, would you prefer to see Wednesday or Derby go down?

Possibly Wednesday? I don't know, really. I'm not that fussed on Wednesday or Chansiri. Derby, I don't really like Mel Morris or the fans that stick up for him... but I do quite like Derby. I had a decent relationship with their fans for a while.

[DurhamRed 2,047]

Hopefully we start well though don't give them a handicap before we start playing 

[marvin 290]

Another awesome OP @RiseAgainst  looking forward to you seeing the season out!
 

1. Who makes your starting XI?

After Archer’s howler from the corner v Rotherham, I don’t see what Brynn could do that would make him seem any worse than the other two keepers so I’d give him a go. 
I’d like Malley to start so we can see what he’s like from kick off. 
Would be nice to have the injured lads back where possible!

2. Given Connor Malley’s man-of-the-match debut, which other youngsters would you like to see in the squad/team?

Sol Brynn!

3. If you could only choose one, would you prefer to see Wednesday or Derby go down?

Whoever gets the least points at the end of the season! Though Derby should probably have started on a minus too. Rooney doesn’t seem to be one of them former world class players players than can become a top manager... wonder how he would have done with Bournmouth 🤔

[Smogzilla 7,484]

Fingers crossed for some more minutes for the youth lads.

None who were on the bench v Rotherham played for the u23s today, so you'd imagine they will all be back in the 1st team picture tomorrow.

[p_mards 1,365]

Malley done really well on the ball against Rotherham and I'm delighted for him. However, we've been here so many times with a young lad putting in one good performance against a weak opposition and then there's an expectancy for him to be a first team regular. We need to appreciate that Malley was fortunate to play against a technically poor opposition that was down to ten men and is a technically poor, so his defensive weaknesses weren't going to be exposed too much, which is supposedly why Warnock, Woodgate and his 2 loan managers haven't played Malley much.

There was one particular moment that shows Malley's weakness of protecting the defence from the Boro official highlights between 1:02:33 to1:02:40 on the following link: https://www.mfc.co.uk/news/full-90-rotherham-united-v-boro. I have screenshotted it above. Look at how Saville - who I have circled in red - has to cover for Malley. You can see Malley doesn't drop back to cover for McNair when Rotherham's number 17 is taking him on. Saville even points towards the danger but Malley doesn't see it. Then Rotherham's number 17 then beats McNair but thankfully Saville gets across to put in a vital block that Malley really should have been there for. Saville covers well over 20 yards, whereas Malley moves barely 5 yards. That was against a ten man Rotherham; He's going to have to improve himself defensively if he's going to have a chance of being solid enough to be in a Boro team against a 11 man Norwich or Bournemouth who play attack-minded, fluid, overlapping football that's going to ask serious questions of our defensive shape. I really hope Warnock can coach the defensive side of the game into Malley as he certainly has some huge positives to add to us in possession.

[Brunners 7,982]

Or we can just let him do what he's good at and cover for his deficiencies, Howson/Morsy/Saville can all do that defensive stuff we can let Malley just be great on the ball, I don't want to turn Malley into another cautious, defensive minded midfielder!

[wilsoncgp 9,283]

There's a balance isn't there. If he's to play as part of a 2 in midfield, we need him to be aware of that kind of stuff eventually. But we also need to foster an environment and a team that allows for mistakes from young players. They have to be able to analyse and learn from their mistakes in an environment that isn't harsh on those players for them. And for the best results, that has to come at first team level.

It can be costly for individual moments in games but a net positive for the player and thus the team by letting them play their game and retrospectively analysing it and making suggestions afterwards. And we as fans have a role to play in that, patience towards their development. Most players don't turn up and become their best selves in their first 100 appearances.