Swansea City vs Boro

Swansea.com Stadium, 3pm, Saturday the 8th of March in the year of our Lord 2025

Scene: Ext (Day). The Rockliffe Training Pitches

[Jonathan Woodgate, Grant Leadbitter, Graeme Carrick and a few senior players are sitting in a circle on the grass, listening to a story]

LUKE AYLING: …and that was when the budgie fell in the mince! [everyone laughs]

JONNY HOWSON: This is great. I’ve been here since the Dark Ages, and we’ve never had team-building sessions like this.

AIDAN MORRIS: When were the Dark Ages?

WOODGATE: Before someone found electricity?

HOWSON: Back when Garry Monk was in charge.

LEADBITTER [grimly]: Yeah, things were pretty dark back then.

GRAEME: Wasn’t he the muppet who’d have the fullbacks way up the pitch with one midfielder dropping back into defence? [Aidan Morris opens his mouth to say something but thinks better of it]

DAEL FRY:  So what’s your earliest memory, Jonny? Do you remember the war?

HOWSON: I remember when the League Cup was still called the Milk Cup.

WOODGATE [interested]: Was it chocolate milk? How did they pick it up without spilling it everywhere?

RAV VAN DEN BERG: Chocolate milk in the shape of a cup, score two in Cardiff and then lift it up.

FRY: What’s with him?

LEADBITTER: He got shot with a paintball gun a couple of weeks ago by someone hiding in the bushes over there, and he’s not been right since. He’s talking entirely in rhymes.

VAN DEN BERG: Ayling and Illing are able and willing, but playing on the right, they’re both utterly…

LEADBITTER [hastily]: Yes, that’s lovely, Rav, the nurse’ll be along in a minute with your meds. Back to bed, now, eh? [Rav wanders off muttering about the Scotsman up front] Oh, the gaffer’s back.

CARRICK [wielding the iPad]: Hi guys! Are you ready to be knocked off your feet by the tactics truck?

DELANO BURGZORG: Dear God, make it stop.

WOODGATE [quietly]: Doing my best.

CARRICK: Look, I know you’ve found the tetradecagon player maps a bit confusing against Derby, so we’re going to simplify things for the Swansea game.

LEADBITTER: Back to basics, lads.

CARRICK: We’re going to try heptatonic movement patterns, with five whole steps and then two half steps where you pretend to pass but actually don’t, but there has to be at least three whole steps between each half step so the opposition are suitably confused. Everyone got that?

LEADBITTER: Yeah, not that basic.

GRAEME: Think you need to dumb it down, bruv. You might as well ask a cat to series link something on Sky.

CARRICK: Okay, we’ll start with an easy one – a recurring sequence of seven passes, four of which have to be backwards.

BURGZORG: How do we win if most of our passes are backwards?

AYLING: Based on this season, we don’t.

CARRICK: It’s called diatonic.

WOODGATE: I had that with gin once.

MORRIS: It’s certainly dire. Can’t we just hoof it?

[Leadbitter reaches into his pocket and pulls out a glass jar with Hoof It Jar written on the label. Morris curses and drops a pound coin into it]

CARRICK: Aidan, I’ve told you, we are artists, enacting our murals on Mother Nature’s verdant green canvas. Only heathens hoof it. And Preston.

AYLING: Boss, no disrespect, like, but what the galloping f*** are you on about?

CARRICK: Right, I’ll make it as simple as I can. Imagine you’re all the spokes of a pitchfork, but it’s got seven prongs and four of them are longer than the others… [the scene mercifully fades as a lengthy monologue begins]

 

Match details:

Eyes down, look in for another thrill-an-hour match in the optimism abbatoir which is the Championship. I wasn’t able to follow the Derby match but apparently it was one for the purists. And now we find ourselves away in deepest south Wales, playing a Swansea side languishing in 16th place with as many defeats this season as second-from-bottom Plymouth Argyle, who at least had the excuse of spending most of the season under Wayne Rooney’s ham-fisted stewardship.

Form guide:

Like us, Swansea have also won two and lost four of their last six games. They’ve been quite inconsistent, walloping Blackburn 3-0 after losing 3-1 to Stoke the week before. Their next game takes place after this MDT is posted, on Tuesday night away to Preston – no doubt the score will be mentioned here later in the week.

As for Boro…we’re winning, but it’s about as pretty as the Elephant Man, or Wayne Rooney, for that matter. Let’s hope we can leave Swansea with three points and a sense of having been entertained for once. Speaking of entertainment, here endeth the Chocolate Milk trilogy. If we win on Saturday, it'll be a normal MDT next time.

View from the other side:

No MDT was published on the Jack Army website (https://jackarmy.net/forum/forums/the-football-board.8/) as of this OP going live. Ten points if you spot the many design similarities between their forum and ours.

Questions for the audience:

1.       Who makes your starting XI?

2.       Are you any more confident about the play-offs after back-to-back wins?

3.       Should every Welsh team be integrated back into the Cymru Premier League, rather than some playing in the English pyramid and others in the Welsh leagues?

Travers

four fit defenders

hackney and morris

same front four that started the last two.

 

no - I am not at all confident.

 

yes - they should all leave our pyramid. 

1.  Who makes your starting XI?

Unchanged, injuries allowing, but Giles for Ayling if not.

2.       Are you any more confident about the play-offs after back-to-back wins?

Slightly, but it won't take much to destroy that.

3.       Should every Welsh team be integrated back into the Cymru Premier League, rather than some playing in the English pyramid and others in the Welsh leagues?

Back would imply they were in it before.

All 5 Welsh teams remaining in the English pyramid have been in it for over a century, long before there was ever a separate Welsh pyramid and have never been part of the Cymru Premier.

No clubs should ever have been forced to join the Welsh league when it was formed in the first place, plenty of the smaller clubs wanted to continue playing in the English pyramid but were bullied in to moving across.

Edited March 4, 2025Mar 4 by TeaCider24

6-0 to the boro

23 minutes ago, Rob said:

6-0 to the boro

thoughtful, knowledgeable and a realist....does this get any better ?

1 hour ago, TeaCider24 said:

1.  Who makes your starting XI?

Unchanged, injuries allowing, but Giles for Ayling if not.

why make 2 changes at the back when you only need to make one change ; giles in for ayling and that means moving Borges effectively out of position and a not match fit Giles who already stunk the place out with his performances versus Borges at left back.

 

 The only logical decision for me is, pick Howson for Centre half, experienced, played there to good effect previously, brings the ball out like Ayling did, leaves Borges at Left back who has stepped up since Giles arrived and improved his game 5% which is miles better than giles.

Only 1 change needed so doesn't upset the back four too much - and gives experience next to Fry - who needs experience because he seems to thrive with leadership and/or experience alongside him.

An absolute no brainer for me. 

13 minutes ago, ExfootyLimbs said:

why make 2 changes at the back when you only need to make one change ; giles in for ayling and that means moving Borges effectively out of position and a not match fit Giles who already stunk the place out with his performances versus Borges at left back.

 

 The only logical decision for me is, pick Howson for Centre half, experienced, played there to good effect previously, brings the ball out like Ayling did, leaves Borges at Left back who has stepped up since Giles arrived and improved his game 5% which is miles better than giles.

Only 1 change needed so doesn't upset the back four too much - and gives experience next to Fry - who needs experience because he seems to thrive with leadership and/or experience alongside him.

An absolute no brainer for me. 

Howson isn't fit, Carrick said as much after the match, he was there for his presence in the dressing room and was never fit enough to play.

Doesn't seem like he's in the training photos today either.

Playing a left back at left back and a left back at CB makes more sense than playing a central midfielder who hasn't kicked a ball in 3 months there.

Giles is far, far more match fit than Howson could ever be at 36 after the injury blighted season he's had.

Edited March 4, 2025Mar 4 by TeaCider24

12 minutes ago, TeaCider24 said:

Howson isn't fit, Carrick said as much after the match, he was there for his presence in the dressing room and was never fit enough to play.

Doesn't seem like he's in the training photos today either.

Playing a left back at left back and a left back at CB makes more sense than playing a central midfielder who hasn't kicked a ball in 3 months there.

Giles is far, far more match fit than Howson could ever be at 36 after the injury blighted season he's had.

I know match fitness is an issue for howson but his experience counts for more than it does with Giles - who also hasn't now played for what - 4-5 games ?  Giles isn't match fit but Howson has a massive amount of experience that would get him through that role at C/H ; I think we are doomed with Giles at left back - he's a wing back and nothing more - he just cannot defend for toffee.

31 minutes ago, ExfootyLimbs said:

thoughtful, knowledgeable and a realist....does this get any better ?

yeah it can get as high as 10-0, but we keep selling our players off 

Edited March 4, 2025Mar 4 by Rob

0-2. They are poor at scoring and conceed as easily as we do. We can do this if we are set up right.

Swansea will be a tougher task than Derby or especially Stoke were. If the belief and confidence is building and if the loans are settling and becoming fitter while better understanding their roles in a Carrick set up then we could come away with a result. Problem for me is that there are still a lot of if's in all that.

We need a win to keep the positivity flowing and giving the more pessimistic of us a reason to maybe reassess our views but even then I doubt it will change the opinions of a few weeks back, too little too late. I hope we get all three points but the futility of it all refuses to regurgitate my gut instinct of where it all ends come May.

 

Swansea are still without a permanent manager after sacking Luke Williams.

Interim boss Alan Sheehan led them to a 3-0 victory over Blackburn 10 days ago and they'll be facing Preston tonight.

Doak?

48 minutes ago, Plastic Goat said:

Doak?

He's on the grass which could mean he's on the bench with his foot in a cast or starting sometime soon or there again maybe not, there again he might be. 🤔 

Swansea have just lost Myles Peart-Harris to injury in the first half against Preston, he scored and assisted in the game against Blackburn, and has started the majority of their games this season, so that's presumably a big blow for them.