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[align=center]Details

 

Teams – Middlesbrough V Leicester

Location – The Theatre of Dreams, and of the deepest, darkest Nightmares (aka the riverside)

Competition – The SkyBet Championship

Date – Sat 3rd August 2013

Kick off – 15:00 pm

Referee – Andrew Madley [/align]

 

 

Welcome, one and all, to the First official unofficial oneBoro match day thread of the 2013/2014 season!

Before we start, I thought I would do a quick recap of last season, in the form of an easily digestible graph. Because everyone loves graphs right?!

 

 

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Odds

from William Hill:

 

Boro (2.70) Draw (3.30) Leicester (2.60)

 

 

The Last Games

 

Boro:

 

Boro 2 – 1 Bordeaux

 

Middlesbrough completed their annual hope-getting up exercise that is their pre-season by beating a group of winos from the south west of france. Boro started brightly, so brightly in fact that after half an hour, the entire bordeuax team, held up their metaphorical white flag and surrendered. The manager was then forced to substitute all of these players and bring on the second wave of fodder. Similar to their 1940’s compatriots, the French put up little resistance as they were opened up time and time again by the Boro Blitzkrieg. A sumptuous through ball from new boy Whitehead allowed Juke to unselfishly cross to the now-super-duper-confident feet of marvin emnes who slotted home to make it 1-0. Ludovic Obraniak was a lone threat to the Boro in the first half, volleying past jason steele.

Marvin pounced again after half time however, when the olive-oil-fingered bordeuax keeper spilled a juke shot to allow the goal-predator to get another tap in.

Hadi Sacko made a hash of his attempts at goal, in what was Bordeaux's best chance of the game so far, as he decided to head a crossed ball directly into the ground in front of him (rather than the open goal in front of him which many would have opted for), then foolishly volleyed the ball onto the crossbar (we’re not doing challenges on soccer AM now Sacko!), allowing the Boro backline to clear.

The scoring was wrapped up by the man whose name proves that it’s not only page 3 girls from Coventry who have christian names ending in an “i” - Henri Saivet, who scored a corker of a goal, curling a shot from the corner of the penalty area past Leutwiler in the Boro net.

 

 

Leicester :

 

Leicester 0 – 3 Monaco

 

The foxes were unable to compete with this two-bit pretendy french team, where the only game they ever play is formula 1… This is encouraging news indeed for the Boro, who have a stadium that could hold pretty much the entire population of Monaco in one sitting! Monaco's billionaire owner Dmitry Rybolovlev (who’s parents clearly came up with his name by mashing their half-drunk bottle of vodka onto the nearest keyboard in the hospital when he was born) has pumped millions into the club, and his financial aid was rewarded as Layvin Kurzawa opened the scoring for the red and whites (inventive...), followed by Falcao and Tisserand to wrap up the comfortable win.

 

 

Injury/Availability News

 

Boro:

 

:) – George friend seems to have recovered from his recent injury quickly and should be fit to play.

- most players seem to have come through pre-season unscathed. possibly partially down to the ex-chelski fitness coach (no, not the fit one...) who has been helping tony and the crew with pre-season training.

 

:( - Justin Hoyte has been absent from the team due to his involvement in the Trinidad squad and receiving a slight groin strain. It is unknown (to me anyway…) whether he will be available for this game.

-Seb Hines underwent knee surgery in the summer and is due to return to training later this month.

 

Leicester:

 

:) –

 

 

The Un(ger)-Official Match Preview

 

Bright eyed, full of hope, rational... Just a few words you couldn’t use to describe Boro fans recently. And let’s be honest, we haven’t had a great deal to be overly optimistic about (save for those of us who are clearly taking more than the prescribed amounts of our medication)... We lost Scott McDonald (as does his wife, when the snow is more than 3 foot deep) and last season we slipped down the table quicker than you can say “maybe next game we’ll be able to score?!” in your best faux-positive voice. We have also failed to make significant progress in the transfer market, instead being sidetracked by a loud man at a red and white stripy transfer stall (I assume this is how transfer markets work…) shouting “five bob a player, only five bob, three players for a tenner love.”…

And yet hope springs eternal… we currently lie joint top of the league with a very competitive goal difference. And we haven’t conceded a single goal yet! I feel we will continue this trend into the first game and draw with Leicester 0-0!

 

 

Official Match Preview

 

mobile.mfc.co.uk/default.aspx?s=news-display&aid=3335511

 

 

The View From The Other Side

From foxestalk.co.uk

 

- “Middlesborough always seem to start strongly, and for whatever reason I'm not feeling confident for this season. A 2-1 loss I reckon. King to score.”

- “Anyway like others I predict a 1-1 draw at what is the unmanned fortress of the Riverside.”

- “3-0 Boro. We're too weak at the back and we rarely start well.”

- “Close fought draw, I'll be happy enough with that too. Don't think Boro will be the poor side they were late last season.”

- “What is clear is that we have a slight issue at left back.“

- “Boro just beat Bordeaux - proof that Championship sides can beat French opposition Mr Pearson. That's 4 wins and a draw for them pre season - but don't worry - it's all about fitness!”

 

See, they’re just as mardy as you lot! :p we can’t both lose… what happens when a stoppable force meets an easily movable object??

 

 

The Boro-unger multi copyright-infringing motivational speech of the week!

 

Sons of Middlesbrough, of Stockton and of the surrounding areas. My brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come, when the belief of Middlesbrough fans fails, when we forsake our team and all our smoggy bonds, but it is not this day! An hour and a half of torment and shattered dreams when the age of Mowbray comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear in this polluted little town, I bid you, stand, Men, Women and Kiddywinks of the north east!

 

 

Talking Points

 

- Can we send the foxes home with their bushy tails between their legs?

- Will the Boro send the moaners into an overdriven apocalypse-worthy frenzy by daring to not win the first game?

- Will there be any new faces in before the game?

- Will the team still be wearing Doncaster’s old sweaty hand-me-down socks for the game?

- Teams and predictions please. you know the drill.

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Love the 'Lord of the rings' bit :D

I'm going to push the boat out with a 3-1 win to us, the foxes seem to be in a bit of a negative place, whereas we are re-building our club after the dreaded ginger plague, rather than sticking a mis-mash of players together and calling them a team. ;)

Emnes to bag a brace and Carayol to nick one near the end.

 

Now watch as none of what I have predicted will happen!

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I've got a good feeling about the opening game, personally. Leicester haven't massively strengthened - Bakayogo at LB is their only signing - though have kept their key players, too.

 

They say pre-season counts for nothing, but confidence will be high in the Boro camp after an unbeater summer plus a very nice win over a top-tier, cup winning French side in our last pre-season game, where as Leicester have had a frustrating summer.

 

My prediction:

Middlesborugh 2-1 Leicester

(Emnes, Carayol / King)

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Brought a tear to my eye to see match threads back!

 

However, I refuse to comment on the match until a penis appears in the badges.

 

haha, i was going to change the foxes eyes/nose into ovaries... :D

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3-1 to Boro - 2 from Marv and 1 from the Juke

 

Going up from Norwich for the match and hoping 20K will see us start with the first 3 points of our record start - Ah well if you can't start off optimistic whats the point!

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