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How can you be an obese drug-user? Maybe everyone in Middlesbrough is like Rob Ford, smoking crack with Somalians and then doing a talk-show about it? Maybe that's what its like back home. Why aren't I living back home? I could be fat(ter) and be a television rock-star. Instead I'm stuck in South London using my superior Northern wit and charm to copulate with all these southern lasses who aren't getting any because all the men are off flogging perfume and shooting unarmed black people.


I know how to smash that old debate. Its easy.


Charlton's most famous fan is Jim Davidson.


Let me just leave that one with you. Jim.... Davidson. Ipso facto. Anything you or I say from here on out is null and void. How the hell do you compete with that? Jim Big Break Davidson. The guy's balls are made from actual snooker balls.


Unfortunately I used to live near Charlton. My ex was from Blackheath. Most of the fans these days either come from Woolwich and are closet ***nal fans, or come from Dartford. Nice bunch, the few I've met anyway - unfortunately just like a lot of things they aren't really a London club anymore. Blame football economics for that one. They come from Kant apparently. No, not the German who was the founder of modern philosophy. Kant.... that big blob of land that is willy-touching France.


Anyways mad respect for how they fought Greenwich Borough council over trying to use their own stadium. Imagine if they tried to do that now? Boris would have sold the land off to some Russian oligarch and told them to ground-share in Gillingham or something. Although give it time and perhaps the pitch at the Valley will end up subsiding into Gillingham anyway. Its already under 18 feet of water isn't it? I love weather in the south, which apparently is in a different Koppen scale to the rest of the country. Yarm gets flooded every year and we get on with it. Some little hamlet south of the Thames gets an inch of water and they are sending down the Red Cross and Kate Adie.


Unfortunately most of SE London is now an absolute gentrified ***e-hole and has priced out a very decent community they once had around there. As most Boro fans would have noticed by the god-awful lack of decent pubs in that area. The fact you have to go to Cutty Sark on the DLR, and sit next to some sweaty Brazilian chatting loudly to his girlfriend on his iPhone just to get a decent pint which then costs you a row of houses in Grove Hill - tells you how ***ed up that city is.


Nah, give me my artery-blocking, smog-filled, boarded-up wonderland any day of the week. You can have your overcrowded cesspit of a city and then some.


Anyways, this is on my accy for the day so obviously 3-1 Charlton. Kermogant with a brace and then Boycie from Only Fools & Horses to come on and knock one in with his hu***ous chin during injury-time as we push everyone forward looking for the equaliser.


Micky Pearce to save a penalty and Denzil to get sent off as well. Oh wait that's Peckham? Oh well. Crap place with no tube station and a load of loud Africans talking really loudly on the bus. Either way, its a Boro defeat to a bunch of market-traders and road-sweepers.


(Roger Llyod-Pack RIP)


Boro 1-3 Charlton Heston




tl : dr? 4-1 Boro (Muzzy hat-trick)

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I'm beginning to feel my Juke leading scorer bet fading away. I wonder if I can change it to Juke scoring again this season for the same odds.


Seriously though, he will score today, surely.


Have been banging his cause over the last few matches stating he would score and this would be the day..............sadly but not surprisingly I was totally wrong so will state he will not score today;)

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£1 for boro to win 5-2 @125-1 :S


Careful Stubz. Those Charlton fans are watching... I got a whole thread done about me on the Charlton boards for my bet.


For the record, I decided against the hatrick and plumped for 6-0 with Adomah to score 2 for combined odds of 250/1.

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Guess what guys?






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I'm more excited than usual.


This complete novice has taken the plunge into the murky waters of online betting. Set up an account with Betfair and put £2 on Boro to win, plus 4 other results. If they all come through I'll pick up £267. Small beer for some of you, I know, but as a beginner I thought I should start small.

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