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One for those of us up in the cheap seats. To the tune of Afroman's finest:

 

I was gonna get a better seat, but then I went high;

I coulda spent more, so i could see, but I went high;

(La da da da da da)

So I'm taking my binoculars and I know why, (why man?) yea heyy,

- cause I went high, cause I went high, cause I went high.

 

(La da da da da da)

 

Brilliant

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One 'O'!

 

We've only got one 'O'

 

We've only got one 'O'

 

We've only got one 'O'

 

One 'O'!

 

 

 

 

To Cameron Jerome, A la to Kenwyne Jones at Cardiff

 

Sh*t Marvin Emnes!

 

You're just a Sh*t Marvin Emnes!

 

Sh*t Marvin Emmmmmmnessssss!

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A little RHCP!

 

Konstantopolous, addicted to the shindig,

Aitor, he says you're gonna win big,

Choose not a life of smashing plates up,

Distant dreams of playing in the world cup,

Debunked, the myth that you are no good,

A key player, not just deadwood,

In time, you wanna look like George Friend,

Steve Gibson is watching from the West stand...

Knock out, the strikers if they get through,

Don't dive, you know the truth is some do,

Go read the tactics on the whiteboard,

Leap so far, I wonder what the save meant,

Whitehead is screaming on the subs bench,

Hold nerve, even if your butts clench,

Go ask if you can play against spurs,

Albert's on with 50 belly dancers!

 

The team I love

The clangers I drop

To be part of,

The save konstantop,

Ever wonder if it's all for you?!

 

The player I shove

The shots I stop

To be part of

The save konstantop,

Come and tell me when it's... time to...

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And a bit of Jet for friend:

 

 

So 1, 2, 3, George Friend come with me,

because you look so fine,

and you hold the defensive line.

 

Dun dun dun dun dun dunundunun.

 

I say you look so fine

And you hold the defensive line.

 

Dun dun dun dun dun dunundunun.

 

Oh, 4,5,6 come on and get your kicks

now we don't need bennett,

when we got you for 90 minutes, do we?!

 

Dun dun dun dun dun dunundunun.

 

Pale blue boots;

long brown hair;

he's so sweet,

with his get back stare!

 

Well I could see,

you and dimi,

Keeping another sheet clean, yeah!

I know aitor,

ain't got much to say,

Cos you never let them get away, yeah!

 

Doon doon doon...

 

I said, are you gonna score a goal?

 

Dun dun dun dun dun dunundunun.

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Karanka woah oh oh

Karanka woah oh oh

 

He came from Real Madrid

He likes Parmo & Chips

 

Karanka woah oh oh

Karanka woah oh oh

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And a bit of Jet for friend:

 

 

So 1, 2, 3, George Friend come with me,

because you look so fine,

and you hold the defensive line.

 

Dun dun dun dun dun dunundunun.

 

I say you look so fine

And you hold the defensive line.

 

Dun dun dun dun dun dunundunun.

 

Oh, 4,5,6 come on and get your kicks

now we don't need bennett,

when we got you for 90 minutes, do we?!

 

Dun dun dun dun dun dunundunun.

 

Pale blue boots;

long brown hair;

he's so sweet,

with his get back stare!

 

Well I could see,

you and dimi,

Keeping another sheet clean, yeah!

I know aitor,

ain't got much to say,

Cos you never let them get away, yeah!

 

Doon doon doon...

 

I said, are you gonna score a goal?

 

Dun dun dun dun dun dunundunun.

 

Quality... I do love a bit of Jet!

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I dreamed a dream of Premier League,

When hope was high,

And games worth playing,

I dreamed that bamford would score five,

I dreamed the ref would be forgiving.

 

Then I was young and unafraid,

And chances were made and used and wasted,

There were no heroes to be made,

No song unsung,

No pass untested,

Norwich were better on the night,

With their play we were left asunder,

As they tear your hopes apart,

And they turn your dream to pain.

 

And still I dream aitor will stay,

That we'll get promoted together,

But there are dreams that cannot be,

And there are balls that we can't defend,

I had a dream next season would be,

Played up in the premier division,

So different now from what it seemed,

Now Delia has killed,

The dream I dreamed.

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  • 2 months later...

For if/when we sign our new keeper:

 

Aga-zi-zi-zi push it round and be gutsy,

Aga-zi-zi-zi punch it into the north sea,

To the left, to the right, saving shots next to the tees,

Come and dance every week, sing with a Boro melody.

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I dreamed a dream of Premier League,

When hope was high,

And games worth playing,

I dreamed that bamford would score five,

I dreamed the ref would be forgiving.

 

Then I was young and unafraid,

And chances were made and used and wasted,

There were no heroes to be made,

No song unsung,

No pass untested,

Norwich were better on the night,

With their play we were left asunder,

As they tear your hopes apart,

And they turn your dream to pain.

 

And still I dream aitor will stay,

That we'll get promoted together,

But there are dreams that cannot be,

And there are balls that we can't defend,

I had a dream next season would be,

Played up in the premier division,

So different now from what it seemed,

Now Delia has killed,

The dream I dreamed.

 

I've heard a far more unsavoury chant doing the rounds about Delia.

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