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Boro v Bolton (A) 3-0 (Britt (2) Johnson)

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ghEovrp.jpg

 

 

Details

Teams – Bolton v Middlesbrough

Location – The Macaroni Stadium

Competition – The Championship

Date – Sat 9th September 2017

Kick off – 15:00

 

 

Introduction

 

NEW AND IMPROVED TEAM RECIPE!

 

We only use the finest quality players to make our Smash the League instant promotion. Every player is carefully selected, scouted and signed to keep their natural talent locked in. We haven't added any dross or genetically modified players and Smash the League is suitable for vegetarians (Although Britt does look a bit beefy…)

 

Ideal as an accompaniment to any true Middlesbrough fan’s season or as an indulgent treat for the fair-weather fan, Smash the League is also the perfect solution to a miserable Teesside - great for anyone with Premier League related ambitions. So quick and easy to do, we can’t believe we didn’t think to Smash the League before!

 

Unfortunately, due to manufacturing issues, Smash the League is only available in packet form. We bottled it last year, and I think we can all agree it wasn’t pretty…

 

 

Store in a cool, damp place (Teesside is perfect).

Once opened, use within 38 weeks.

Best Before End of Season.

 

Safety Warning:

Not suitable for those who take things too literally.

 

 

The Last Games

 

Boro:

 

Boro 0 - 0 PNE

 

Preston North End earned a point at Middlesbrough despite failing to score for the third time in four games. The Northendoners were awful, and Manager moleface said: “Middlesbrough really do deserve to smash the league.” 

 

Bolton:

 

Hull 4 – 0 Bolton

 

Bolton will have been left wandering what had hit them after the Slut’s team were three nil up within half an hour. Hull enjoyed 61% possession in a game where there was only ever going to be one winner. Bolton manager admitted: "We were second best all over the pitch. Hull were outstanding and Boro are probably going to give us another smashing in a couple of weeks." OK, maybe not that last bit….

 

 

Availability News

 

Boro:

 

:) - Everyone appears to be available for smashing duties.

 

Bolton:

 

:( - Jem Karacan took a heavy smash from David Meyler in the defeat to Hull, forcing him to leave the football arena.

 

 

Form (League only - most recent last)

 

Boro: LWWLD

 

 

Bolton: LDDLL

 

 

The View From The Other Side

 

I can’t find anything on their forums yet. I’m just going to assume they are all awaiting a good smashing.

 

 

The Un(ger)-Official Match Preview

 

Smash the league certainties against Rock Bottom of the league opposition, Let’s be honest, we’re gonna smash it!

 

 

Famous People’s Quotes about the Boro

 

When you see Middlesbrough smash the league, you enjoy it. - Mike Tyson

 

I always wanted Middlesbrough to smash the league, you just can’t do that with a piano – Elton John

 

BORO SMASH – The Hulk

 

 

Nutrition

 

Ingredients:

 

Allergy Advice: Anyone allergic to smashing the league, should depart the good ship Middlesbrough immediately. Full scale anaphylaxis is a certainty otherwise.

 

Excellent players (90%), Salt of the earth players (8%), May contain Players who are nuts (2%) Emulsifier (Boroglycerides), Anti-relegationidants (Ascendic Acid, Sodium Promotionosulphate)

 

Dietary Information: May Contain Milking the smash the league thing a bit...

 

Nutritional Data: Typical Values per 11 players as prepared

Energy: Bucketloads

Fat: <1% (Now that Tomlin's left)

Chance Boro will Lose the Match: 3/1

Chance Boro will Win the Match: 19/20

Chance of a Draw: 23/10

Chance Boro Won’t win the League: <1%

 

 

Smashing!

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Excellent. Well thought out and very witty. Well done Boro-unger

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Love it! :D

 

We need to show a much better performance than against Preston, that's for sure. I'd take a 1-0 as long as we showed more promising signs. And that the international break has been put to good use.

 

Right now, I'd go with:

 

Randolph

Christie Ayala Gibson Fabio

Clayton

Howson Baker

Bamford

Assombalonga Gestede

 

I suspect Fry, Friend and possibly Braithwaite will start in place of Ayala, Fabio and Gestede with a more fluid front 3 though.

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I'd take a win in any fashion to settle the small murmurings of discontent from some people. A nice convincing away win would be good though.

Could be a tough game mind, same as last time we went there, I'll take the same result!

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Game we have to win. Let's be ready from kick off and really stick the knife in and not hold back. I take it everyone is fit so this would be my lineup:

 

----------Randolph----------

Christie-Ayala-Gibson-Friend

-------Howson-Clayton-------

------------Baker-----------

Bamford-Assombalonga-Braithwaite

 

Last chance for Friend to show that he isn't declining and Ayala should be back if he is fully fit. We know how good his partnership with Gibson can be. Brathwaite should also be fit, so I'm hoping we are going with pace and quick feet instead of Gestedes physical appearance. From now on Monk needs to stick with a system.

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Randolph

Christie Fry Gibson Fabio

Howson Clayton

Baker

Bamford Assombalonga Gestede

 

I don't think you can drop Fry, whilst he hasn't let us down. Baker has to play through the middle for me and i'd bring Bamford back into the line up.

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Randolph

Christie Fry Gibson Fabio

Howson Clayton

Baker

Bamford Assombalonga Gestede

 

This same team for me. I don't think Braithwaite will start, though I wouldn't be shocked if he did. 

I also think Downing might be in with a shout of starting over Howson.

No excuse not to take the game to Bolton, they really are a poor side, and with a massive away following, we can make this feel like a home game.

Six points from the next 3 games is a minimum, and this is the easiest of them.

 

PS: Well done BU, very good thread.

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I can't see Fry being dropped but I'm one of very few people who hasn't really got the hype with him this season yet, clearly missing something.

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Jeez these matchday threads are reaching new heights, well done BU. We should be comfortable against Bolton so let us play with one defensive midfielder and Howson and baker pressing forward. As to the forwards that is anyones guess, oh and I think it is time for George to sit on the bench, he is just not cutting it.

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  • Latest Posts

    • Sack all of em and bulldoze the ground.  Build something there that we can enjoy going to more, like a cemetery for example 😡
    • Got to agree given how many goals we've scored this season we're not good enough to play with only one forward, I  feel we should have started with Britt and Fletcher.
    • Yeah the crossing was abysmal - I think that the stats at the end of the game were 3 successful from 21.  Even ignoring the stats, there were just plenty of over hit crosses today. What would I have done differently?  I dunno.  I don't view the game in the same way as someone like Warnock does so you're probably asking the wrong person as I'd do just about everything differently!  I don't know if getting lots of crosses into the box is the right way to win a game, especially with the team we had out there.  Flooding the box and hoping that a ball bobbles one way or another seems kind of inefficient to me when you don't have much in the way of height but Warnock has made a career out of it, and he doesn't really have the time to put much else in place.  My instincts are always to get the ball down and play though. Before today, we'd only scored 39 goals this season.  The team that we started with had only scored 16 of those goals!  That's actually quite staggering when you think about it.  I'm not sure how meaningful that stuff is but I suppose it doesn't scream a team that will take lots of chances.  However, we were able to open Hull up time and again so it's not like we had no opportunities to make something happen.  We opened Hull up far more easily than we did Stoke last weekend, but today the final ball, cross or shot, was usually either poor or just the wrong decision.  I was talking about Wing earlier, and he was crap when he came on, but in a way it might have been the game to start him in.  Someone to pull the trigger within 25 yards of goal.  Maybe we could have started him instead of one of the three in midfield and given them something different to worry about.  Starting Tavernier could have been worth a shout as well as he looked about as lively as anyone last week when he came on.  He's obviously competing with Roberts for a spot though.
    • Our passing in the final third is shocking, and I find it criminal that our  players can over hit free kicks time and time again, and when we do get into a position to cross a ball we constantly hit the opposition player, I'm starting to wonder if they're all *** colour blind.   Johnson is just one of those players who's not very intelligent he just  can't help it, gave a stupid free kick away for the Hull goal then decided to try and do the same again, I hope Warnock realizes that the lads just a liability, I was also wondering if Johnson has any family from Hull because he's been an absolute god send for them in the 2 games against us. Roberts started well and then lost his way, skillful but over dribbles at times, Coulson was poor, Britt trying to hold a ball up just doesn't work, not strong enough, Wing did nothing when he came on, Tav had a go, thought McNair and Howson had average games, but I  thought losing Spence was a huge blow Hull were struggling to cope  with his pace. Well if Warnock thought it was a big job, he'll realize just how big now. Moukoudi  has got to play against QPR, Howson back at right back and I'd sooner have Aynsley Pears at left back than Johnson.
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