boro-unger 3,811 Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 Details Teams – Bolton v Middlesbrough Location – The Macaroni Stadium Competition – The Championship Date – Sat 9th September 2017 Kick off – 15:00 Introduction NEW AND IMPROVED TEAM RECIPE! We only use the finest quality players to make our Smash the League instant promotion. Every player is carefully selected, scouted and signed to keep their natural talent locked in. We haven't added any dross or genetically modified players and Smash the League is suitable for vegetarians (Although Britt does look a bit beefy…) Ideal as an accompaniment to any true Middlesbrough fan’s season or as an indulgent treat for the fair-weather fan, Smash the League is also the perfect solution to a miserable Teesside - great for anyone with Premier League related ambitions. So quick and easy to do, we can’t believe we didn’t think to Smash the League before! Unfortunately, due to manufacturing issues, Smash the League is only available in packet form. We bottled it last year, and I think we can all agree it wasn’t pretty… Store in a cool, damp place (Teesside is perfect). Once opened, use within 38 weeks. Best Before End of Season. Safety Warning: Not suitable for those who take things too literally. The Last Games Boro: Boro 0 - 0 PNE Preston North End earned a point at Middlesbrough despite failing to score for the third time in four games. The Northendoners were awful, and Manager moleface said: “Middlesbrough really do deserve to smash the league.” Bolton: Hull 4 – 0 Bolton Bolton will have been left wandering what had hit them after the Slut’s team were three nil up within half an hour. Hull enjoyed 61% possession in a game where there was only ever going to be one winner. Bolton manager admitted: "We were second best all over the pitch. Hull were outstanding and Boro are probably going to give us another smashing in a couple of weeks." OK, maybe not that last bit…. Availability News Boro: :) - Everyone appears to be available for smashing duties. Bolton: :( - Jem Karacan took a heavy smash from David Meyler in the defeat to Hull, forcing him to leave the football arena. Form (League only - most recent last) Boro: LWWLD Bolton: LDDLL The View From The Other Side I can’t find anything on their forums yet. I’m just going to assume they are all awaiting a good smashing. The Un(ger)-Official Match Preview Smash the league certainties against Rock Bottom of the league opposition, Let’s be honest, we’re gonna smash it! Famous People’s Quotes about the Boro When you see Middlesbrough smash the league, you enjoy it. - Mike Tyson I always wanted Middlesbrough to smash the league, you just can’t do that with a piano – Elton John BORO SMASH – The Hulk Nutrition Ingredients: Allergy Advice: Anyone allergic to smashing the league, should depart the good ship Middlesbrough immediately. Full scale anaphylaxis is a certainty otherwise. Excellent players (90%), Salt of the earth players (8%), May contain Players who are nuts (2%) Emulsifier (Boroglycerides), Anti-relegationidants (Ascendic Acid, Sodium Promotionosulphate) Dietary Information: May Contain Milking the smash the league thing a bit... Nutritional Data: Typical Values per 11 players as prepared Energy: Bucketloads Fat: <1% (Now that Tomlin's left) Chance Boro will Lose the Match: 3/1 Chance Boro will Win the Match: 19/20 Chance of a Draw: 23/10 Chance Boro Won’t win the League: <1% Smashing! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Erimus 63 478 Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 Funniest match intro ever :D I'll have 5 servings please :D Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco 4,900 Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 Excellent. Well thought out and very witty. Well done Boro-unger Link to post Share on other sites
wilsoncgp 9,228 Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 Love it! :D We need to show a much better performance than against Preston, that's for sure. I'd take a 1-0 as long as we showed more promising signs. And that the international break has been put to good use. Right now, I'd go with: Randolph Christie Ayala Gibson Fabio Clayton Howson Baker Bamford Assombalonga Gestede I suspect Fry, Friend and possibly Braithwaite will start in place of Ayala, Fabio and Gestede with a more fluid front 3 though. Link to post Share on other sites
CurtisFleming 86 Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 Well played BU. Well played :D Link to post Share on other sites
Denzel Zanzibar 6,931 Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 This is my new favourite matchday thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmy 140 Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Haha, great stuff as usual BU! Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmy 140 Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 I'd take a win in any fashion to settle the small murmurings of discontent from some people. A nice convincing away win would be good though. Could be a tough game mind, same as last time we went there, I'll take the same result! Link to post Share on other sites
Downsouth 6,175 Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Absolutely "smashing" BU very funny! Link to post Share on other sites
sunna 5 Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Brilliant, inventive - "a werk of art" Link to post Share on other sites
Borodane 6,246 Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Game we have to win. Let's be ready from kick off and really stick the knife in and not hold back. I take it everyone is fit so this would be my lineup: ----------Randolph---------- Christie-Ayala-Gibson-Friend -------Howson-Clayton------- ------------Baker----------- Bamford-Assombalonga-Braithwaite Last chance for Friend to show that he isn't declining and Ayala should be back if he is fully fit. We know how good his partnership with Gibson can be. Brathwaite should also be fit, so I'm hoping we are going with pace and quick feet instead of Gestedes physical appearance. From now on Monk needs to stick with a system. Link to post Share on other sites
Humpty 3,238 Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Randolph Christie Fry Gibson Fabio Howson Clayton Baker Bamford Assombalonga Gestede I don't think you can drop Fry, whilst he hasn't let us down. Baker has to play through the middle for me and i'd bring Bamford back into the line up. Link to post Share on other sites
Tom 2,492 Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Randolph Christie Fry Gibson Fabio Howson Clayton Baker Bamford Assombalonga Gestede This same team for me. I don't think Braithwaite will start, though I wouldn't be shocked if he did. I also think Downing might be in with a shout of starting over Howson. No excuse not to take the game to Bolton, they really are a poor side, and with a massive away following, we can make this feel like a home game. Six points from the next 3 games is a minimum, and this is the easiest of them. PS: Well done BU, very good thread. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsoncgp 9,228 Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 I can't see Fry being dropped but I'm one of very few people who hasn't really got the hype with him this season yet, clearly missing something. Link to post Share on other sites
pikerman 1,089 Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Jeez these matchday threads are reaching new heights, well done BU. We should be comfortable against Bolton so let us play with one defensive midfielder and Howson and baker pressing forward. As to the forwards that is anyones guess, oh and I think it is time for George to sit on the bench, he is just not cutting it. Link to post Share on other sites
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