Boro v Bolton (A) 3-0 (Britt (2) Johnson)

[boro-unger 969]

 

 

Details

Teams – Bolton v Middlesbrough

Location – The Macaroni Stadium

Competition – The Championship

Date – Sat 9th September 2017

Kick off – 15:00

 

 

Introduction

 

NEW AND IMPROVED TEAM RECIPE!

 

We only use the finest quality players to make our Smash the League instant promotion. Every player is carefully selected, scouted and signed to keep their natural talent locked in. We haven't added any dross or genetically modified players and Smash the League is suitable for vegetarians (Although Britt does look a bit beefy…)

 

Ideal as an accompaniment to any true Middlesbrough fan’s season or as an indulgent treat for the fair-weather fan, Smash the League is also the perfect solution to a miserable Teesside - great for anyone with Premier League related ambitions. So quick and easy to do, we can’t believe we didn’t think to Smash the League before!

 

Unfortunately, due to manufacturing issues, Smash the League is only available in packet form. We bottled it last year, and I think we can all agree it wasn’t pretty…

 

 

Store in a cool, damp place (Teesside is perfect).

Once opened, use within 38 weeks.

Best Before End of Season.

 

Safety Warning:

Not suitable for those who take things too literally.

 

 

The Last Games

 

Boro:

 

Boro 0 - 0 PNE

 

Preston North End earned a point at Middlesbrough despite failing to score for the third time in four games. The Northendoners were awful, and Manager moleface said: “Middlesbrough really do deserve to smash the league.” 

 

Bolton:

 

Hull 4 – 0 Bolton

 

Bolton will have been left wandering what had hit them after the Slut’s team were three nil up within half an hour. Hull enjoyed 61% possession in a game where there was only ever going to be one winner. Bolton manager admitted: "We were second best all over the pitch. Hull were outstanding and Boro are probably going to give us another smashing in a couple of weeks." OK, maybe not that last bit….

 

 

Availability News

 

Boro:

 

:) - Everyone appears to be available for smashing duties.

 

Bolton:

 

:( - Jem Karacan took a heavy smash from David Meyler in the defeat to Hull, forcing him to leave the football arena.

 

 

Form (League only - most recent last)

 

Boro: LWWLD

 

 

Bolton: LDDLL

 

 

The View From The Other Side

 

I can’t find anything on their forums yet. I’m just going to assume they are all awaiting a good smashing.

 

 

The Un(ger)-Official Match Preview

 

Smash the league certainties against Rock Bottom of the league opposition, Let’s be honest, we’re gonna smash it!

 

 

Famous People’s Quotes about the Boro

 

When you see Middlesbrough smash the league, you enjoy it. - Mike Tyson

 

I always wanted Middlesbrough to smash the league, you just can’t do that with a piano – Elton John

 

BORO SMASH – The Hulk

 

 

Nutrition

 

Ingredients:

 

Allergy Advice: Anyone allergic to smashing the league, should depart the good ship Middlesbrough immediately. Full scale anaphylaxis is a certainty otherwise.

 

Excellent players (90%), Salt of the earth players (8%), May contain Players who are nuts (2%) Emulsifier (Boroglycerides), Anti-relegationidants (Ascendic Acid, Sodium Promotionosulphate)

 

Dietary Information: May Contain Milking the smash the league thing a bit...

 

Nutritional Data: Typical Values per 11 players as prepared

Energy: Bucketloads

Fat: <1% (Now that Tomlin's left)

Chance Boro will Lose the Match: 3/1

Chance Boro will Win the Match: 19/20

Chance of a Draw: 23/10

Chance Boro Won’t win the League: <1%

 

 

Smashing!

[Erimus 63 143]

Funniest match intro ever :D

 

I'll have  5 servings please :D

[Blanco 1,123]

Excellent. Well thought out and very witty. Well done Boro-unger

[wilsoncgp 2,530]

Love it! :D

 

We need to show a much better performance than against Preston, that's for sure. I'd take a 1-0 as long as we showed more promising signs. And that the international break has been put to good use.

 

Right now, I'd go with:

 

Randolph

Christie Ayala Gibson Fabio

Clayton

Howson Baker

Bamford

Assombalonga Gestede

 

I suspect Fry, Friend and possibly Braithwaite will start in place of Ayala, Fabio and Gestede with a more fluid front 3 though.

[CurtisFleming 66]

Well played BU. Well played :D

[Denzel Zanzibar 1,211]

This is my new favourite matchday thread.

[Jimmy 96]

Haha, great stuff as usual BU!

[Jimmy 96]

I'd take a win in any fashion to settle the small murmurings of discontent from some people. A nice convincing away win would be good though.

Could be a tough game mind, same as last time we went there, I'll take the same result!

[Downsouth 1,473]

Absolutely "smashing" BU very funny!

[sunna 5]

Brilliant, inventive - "a werk of art"

[Borodane 1,487]

Game we have to win. Let's be ready from kick off and really stick the knife in and not hold back. I take it everyone is fit so this would be my lineup:

 

----------Randolph----------

Christie-Ayala-Gibson-Friend

-------Howson-Clayton-------

------------Baker-----------

Bamford-Assombalonga-Braithwaite

 

Last chance for Friend to show that he isn't declining and Ayala should be back if he is fully fit. We know how good his partnership with Gibson can be. Brathwaite should also be fit, so I'm hoping we are going with pace and quick feet instead of Gestedes physical appearance. From now on Monk needs to stick with a system.

[Humpty 184]

Randolph

Christie Fry Gibson Fabio

Howson Clayton

Baker

Bamford Assombalonga Gestede

 

I don't think you can drop Fry, whilst he hasn't let us down. Baker has to play through the middle for me and i'd bring Bamford back into the line up.

[Tom 409]

Randolph

Christie Fry Gibson Fabio

Howson Clayton

Baker

Bamford Assombalonga Gestede

 

This same team for me. I don't think Braithwaite will start, though I wouldn't be shocked if he did. 

I also think Downing might be in with a shout of starting over Howson.

No excuse not to take the game to Bolton, they really are a poor side, and with a massive away following, we can make this feel like a home game.

Six points from the next 3 games is a minimum, and this is the easiest of them.

 

PS: Well done BU, very good thread.

[wilsoncgp 2,530]

I can't see Fry being dropped but I'm one of very few people who hasn't really got the hype with him this season yet, clearly missing something.

[pikerman 99]

Jeez these matchday threads are reaching new heights, well done BU. We should be comfortable against Bolton so let us play with one defensive midfielder and Howson and baker pressing forward. As to the forwards that is anyones guess, oh and I think it is time for George to sit on the bench, he is just not cutting it.